Ten Songs I'm Digging at the moment...

Here's what I'm digging:

1. Fix You by Coldplay
"And the tears come streaming down your face when you lose something you can't replace." I'm driven to think of S & V and the loss of Gracie. Also my daughter's best friend K who had brain surgery this summer and her vision is NOT going to return. She only has 12% of her visual field and it isn't looking like she will return to public school this year. Her parents are devastated as is she, and the greater circle, the friends of K, the families -- we are all very sad. This song is short, hauntingly lovely, builds to a mad crescendo and ends with Chris Martin and a piano, very sadly.

2. God Says Nothing Back by The Wallflowers
Same reasons as above. Very heartbreaking. Jakob Dylan is a genius. Why they are playing County Fairs in California this summer is beyond me. They are just amazing. Amazing.

3. Sin Nombre by The Refreshments
A very sad song about a cowboy, bad decisions, and dark deep longing performed beautifully by Alt Country's finest band (in my opinion). I'm sad they broke up but am very glad that Roger Clyne continues on with his Arizona Peacemakers.

4. Wilted Rose by The Vanity Project
Steven Page's (Barenaked Ladies) side project, this song required some research for me to understand what he was getting at. It's very political and very Canadian. Two things I'm not. But I love Steve's voice and his symballant (sp? not sure) S at the end of certain words. Very sexy.

5. Landed by Ben Folds
Watching friends break up from the sidelines right now, and this song is very much in the forefront of my mind.

6. Pacing the Cage by Bruce Cockburn
"Sunset is an angel weeping, holding out a bloody sword." Cockburn is a lyrical genius, and the simple presentation of him with just the guitar is gorgeous. Also ties in to my "Tell me why" by Neil Young feelings from yesterday's entry. When having existential crisis, do not listen to this song.

7. Fade to Black by Metallica
Early Metallica beats the holy living crap out of new lack-of-guitar Metallica. Any day. And this is their finest. When I want to drive excessively fast, I listen to this.

8. Beetle (Big as Can) by Staind
Yes, a goof cover recorded live on the Howard Stern show a few weeks ago. Staind was live in the studio and put ten minutes in on an interpretation of Beetlejuice's theme song. I was scanning on the dial and heard Howard introduce them coming into the studio. I stayed to listen because I really enjoy Staind, and knew this could be really funny. Beetle's version is a happy go lucky ditty. Staind took it and made it sad, really painful. Is Beetle really big as can and knows he's the best? I hear this song and it is stuck in my head for hours. Aaron Lewis has the sweetest voice, and the band does an amazing job with this stupid song.

9. Wordplay by Jason Mraz
White boy pop-rappers, lookout. While Ed from BNL is still the master of the funky fast fresh rhyme by a white boy with a guitar, Jason is chewing on his heels. I'd like to see a throw down rhymin' challenge with the two of them. As with the last song, hearing this for a second gets it stuck in my head. And I can sing along with it, even when he goes fast. I can't do that with Ed on "One Week," especially the clubs you know the kind with tiny nubs just so my irons aren't always flyin' off the backswing.

10. What About Everything? by CarbonLeaf
Bunch of guys from Virginia sound like they are from Ireland, and they have gorgeous harmonies and clever lyrics. Love this song -- and highly recommend them to all.

How We Process

I'm sitting at the computer. Doug is driving away with the dog.

We talked to our vet about arrangements and what to do for him, for us, for the kids -- whether or not Tufts Veterinary School would want him, and whether we should just send him on a group cremation, group burial, or private cremation. We're spending the little extra money on private, and we'll bring him home and find an appropriate place for him. As a family.

The window replacement guys are upstairs over my head and my head is exploding right now from the noise of life going on, life continuing, other people oblivious to the fact I want my brain wrapped in mothballs and muffled and protected from sound and reality. I really cannot fathom that this has happened, and that he's gone for real.

I've gone over this a million times in my head. Would things have been different if I were home. I go and do the one totally selfless act I can do, and what -- this I how I'm repaid. Crap.

In my heart of hearts, I always knew there was clear potential for something like this happening -- I just never expected it would be Kinger. I always believed Jack would meet his doom at the chrome bumper and grill, but not Kinger.

Doug and I sat on the couch last night rationalizing. The "He's in a better place" kind of thing, but that sucks because this place was damn fine and we were pretty good to him.

But we could have been better, if you know what I mean.

I kept thinking about how yesterday afternoon I was too busy for him and for Jack. I am never too busy for them. Why yesterday? Just to compound my grief and make me sadder. Every day -- I come home, get loved and give love. I sit on the couch and they both jump up to glom on me and worship me.

And I didn't do that at all yesterday.

I keep going over the "It could have been worse, it could have been Jessica running out to stop him." I always try and play the "It could have been worse" game but really, that's the only thing I can come up with.

The thing that kind of upsets me is Geoff thinks that it's great that we still have Jack. He has expressed little or no concern or upset for Kinger's absence. I'm not sure if that's normal, or if that's just the way he is.

We all process things differently.

We were sitting on the couch last night and Geoff was lavishing Jack with love and affection and he turns to me and says "Mom, why are you so sad, we have Jackie! Jack is a great dog!" And I asked him if he even realized the finality of Kinger's death... and he said "well, yeah. But we have Jack and that's great!"

How he processes things is a lot different than the rest of us, I think. I warned the school that this happened, because we never know with Geoff when it just might... dawn on Marble Head.

I don't know.

Our lives go on. Right? I just talked to MB at the office, and we had a short, good laugh about a few things. Her dog survived getting hit by a car, so she knows how we feel in a way, moreso than a lot of other people.

And yes, I do have things in perspective before I get a snarky comment about the Hurricane Devastation or Some Kid Has Cancer Your Life Could Be Worse kind of thing. I know there are worse things, which is why I can sit here and think out through my fingertips. I know we were responsible for Kinger, and he was off the leash and shit happens when Dogs and Cars meet. I know all these things. I can still have my grief. So withold your comments to that point if you would.

As Jackson Browne sang "Don't confront me with my failures. I have not forgotten them."

This is no party.

This is no party.

I know for a fact that unless I write this now I'm not going to get to fall asleep.

Jessie took the dogs out at her usual time, right after the Simpsons. They went to the corner of our driveway to piss on the fence, as is their wont. Kinger at least... Jack still pees like a girl and doesn't coat the corner of the fence with his scent. He just doesn't get it. Which is good because he doesn't pee on anything that he's not supposed to just because he thinks he is supposed to, like most other male canines. Jessie said there was a dog across the road, and both dogs took off across the street to chase it.

Only Jack is a lot faster. Kinger wasn't fast enough.

He was hit and died shortly thereafter. Doug said he didn't get up again and struggle and fight... He just laid there breathing for a little while and then died. It was quick, and we didn't have any options. No rushing to the medical center in Andover, no calling the Vet in a complete panic. Just. Gone.

---

I had an appointment to give blood this evening and I almost didn't go.

I couldn't find my license, it was getting late, I hadn't had supper, and I felt extrordinarily rushed because when I got home this afternoon it was all about the errands. And damn if this isn't just a humongous pain in the ass to go do when I have work that I brought home and the window replacement guys are coming in the morning and Geoff has homework, and ...

I went, and while I was squeezing the squeezy bar and staring at the ceiling in the library in my little town, in my mind was thinking about what to write here. As I've had literally nothing to write about of any interest for the past several months.

I was thinking about how after 9/11 Carrie gave blood for the first time and I'll always think of her when I do this act. I was thinking about how restrictive the rules for donating are, and how some people are really angry about the selectiveness. I was thinking about how I needed to do this more often, but never have the time to do it. I just never do. Family, life, errands, things -- all of these weigh on me. Taking an hour out of a day to go get stuck by a needle when I could be home with feet under a dog watching a Simpsons rerun -- heck. How do you make that living sacrifice?

---

I got home at about 8:15, and saw that Doug had Kinger up on the tail of the truck bed and he and Jessie were waiting there for me. She is devastated, inconsolable, and I can't say as I blame her. I am as well -- but she watched it happen and that is just the part that breaks me into a million pieces. My poor little girl, watching the dog she so dearly loved, get killed.

So yeah. The dog who jumped off of a 15 foot high cliff and survived is gone. This was a dog with horrible arthritis and a torn ACL who could barely climb up the stairs sometimes, who loved to hike and hike and hike. When I would even move the geocaching bag that we keep our gear in, he thought it was time to go, and he'd get all excited and beside himself. This dog couldn't hear the words "go for a ride" without exploding with joy. God forbid you ever forgot to give him his good boy cookie after he went out to pee. He'd let you know it. He spoke to us like Chewbacca, and he'd stand there and just sing out "hey, stupid. Where's my friggin' cookie?" It always made me smile to have a dog who talked to me.

And I don't know what else to write or say. I won't be at work tomorrow. I'm calling the girl out of school and if the boy decides he wants to stay home, then I'll keep him home. We have to call the vet -- we don't have a place to properly bury him in our yard so we'll have her take care of the arrangements necessary, whatever those may be.

Now, I'm going to try and go to sleep. Let's see if I can.

Grandma's got a brand new bag

We went down to see the new residence which my parents will call home hithertoforth. It's a really nice little place, very shady, neighbors seem friendly, and I have to say that this is going to be a really good move for them. My dad is reserved and not too excited, compared to the giddy schoolgirl my mom is as she ran through the place showing it off to us and going over her plans.

34 years in the same shit-hole ghetto projects and she's got the pent up energy and excitement that goes into a new homeowner. We're moving this, those are getting changed, this is where this will go, I found a computer desk that fits PERFECTLY in that little corner alcove...

It was a fun visit. My uncle K and auntie B were there. They've been helping my parents with all kinds of things, bringing them around, hosting them before the purchase was solidified. We don't get to see them often, and this was a really funny visit. My uncle K cracks me up, and he's always got a good one to drop out on the table and make everyone laugh.

Geoff said to us in the truck "I never knew that uncle before, and he's such a nice guy! I really like him!"

Again I had all those conflicting feelings about how I never see our family a lot, or enough, and had a touch of sadness balanced with the knowledge that we just aren't close and that is just the way it is. I have a feeling now that Grandma and Grampa are living up this way that there may be more frequent sightings of these folks. We shall see.

And, on the way home it took us an hour and 20 minutes to get back. Not bad at all. It was easy as pie to get there too, which is very nice. I want to investigate the area more. My mom is the kind of person where I asked her what the downtown of her new hamlet was like and she said "I have no idea." I was shocked -- that would be one of the first places I went to visit if I was buying a house somewhere.

We think differently, I guess.

---

Today's agenda is a little different than most weekend days. Geoff's cub scout den is planting a tree. One of the boys in the den lost his mom to cancer two years ago. The den and the dad decided that since "cub scouts give goodwill" they would do this together.

I am on the outside of this little group (surprise) because they all knew one another, all the moms and dads, from pre-school. Geoff didn't go to pre-school and Kindergarten in this town, so the boys in the den have a tighter bond, and so do the parents. We're going beacuse it is the first thing the den is doing this year, and because Geoff gets Bear Credits for doing something like this. I'm down with that. And just because I didn't know her doesn't mean I don't care about her son and how he's growing and shaping. He is in Geoff's class, and I think it is important that they have this kind of moment in their lifeline together.

Hopefully it won't rain.

Now it's time to prove that you've come back here to rebuild...

"...Rebuild. Rebuild. Rebuild." Thank you Steven Page.

I was listening to some talk radio show this morning and they were going off on Bush's rebuilding plans for New Orleans and the entire Northern Gulf region. So the man says "let's rebuild her and make her better" and people are pissed because it will cost money and its stupid because it's only going to happen again and blah blah blah.

Well, of course it is. But honestly, what did anyone on this planet expect the man to get up and say?

If he had gotten up there and stood in front of the spooky building and statue with all the still, steady, quiet lighting and said "Ya know what, let's not rebuild it. Let's just leave it and relocate everyone to away, and make a memorial to mother nature, God, and the awesome power of poor planning," people would be screaming that he's a racist and if they were mostly white people houses and whatnot that were damaged he'd be all about rebuilding and blah blah blah.

He may be a monkey-faced asshole, but the guy just can't catch a break. Jeesh. I so wouldn't want his job.

Everyone's got an opinion as to why things should be done one way and not another. When things are done to the tune that someone doesn't like there is all this bitching and grousing and complaining the likes that no one should have to put up with. And dimes to freaking donuts their plan, the one that isn't being implemented, would just piss off an equal amount of people who would ride the B&M railroad right to its terminus.

Oh shut the hell up everybody.

Rebuild the area, but make it better please. Put some damn money into the friggin' levee system. Stop building ANY houses or business be they black/white/hispanic/whatever under the damn freaking sea level and just DO something for fuck's sake. And do it now.

Oh man. I'm so pissed off about this posturing, griping, fingerpointing and whinging. I'm done with it.

---

Today we're going to see my parents' new place. I think we're leaving here at 2, driving the 2 hours down there (dude, I thought Massachusetts was a small state!) and I think we're going to have an early dinner with them.

Right now I'm all about getting some dishes and laundry done. We have a lot of sloth that we need to take care of, and the more I think about the mess my home is in the more I'm simply paralyzed and do absolutely nothing.

I'm not sure I'd be an effective leader in cleaning up the wreckage of some major metropolitan city if I can't clean my own house.

---

Haven't heard from Aaron yet in his cross-country trip. I called his mom yesterday and he's at his brother's house in Washington State or Oregon or wherever that is. I think this weekend he drives out three hours or whatever it takes to get to his new job and home. I wish him well. I would love to hear from him but I know he'll call us in his due time.

The Life That Ate My Blog

This is yet another week that seems to have exploded on top of my head. I went to start an entry on Tuesday but someone needed to do some stupid homework research paper. So I let her... rather than have her get a big fat F on her homework or something. And last night I worked until very late, came home, ate and watched two hours of Mythbusters.

This morning, I was all about the update. I didn't have to rush to get ready for work because I had a 9am dentist appointment. But after putting Geoff on the bus I realized that holy crap -- there wasn't a clean dish in the entire house! So I did dishes, then I showered, then I paid some bills and was five minutes late to the dentist.

I tried to write a little while eating my lunch, to email an entry to myself to refine here... but that didn't happen. I ate my lunch over a two hour period, ending up with half of it uneaten and back in the fridge to save for another day.

Mornings are all about getting the boy ready and doing homework with him. We're back into our routine from last year. So far his school year is going okay, and for that I am thankful.

Top all of that life stuff off with the fact that I just have nothing truly important to say and we find ourselves in a quandary of sorts. If there's nothing really to say, why sit down and like ... blab?

Well there is stuff going on. We met with the financial panther (which, in addition to being a really funny Simpsons reference is also some sort of cool looking band ) and are starting to figure out how to put money away for the kids for college. He did some math for us and found we could and should be saving close to 2000 a month. He asked where the 2000 a month was going and both Doug and I couldn't figure out what the deal was.

We're not good with money.

I know I'm spending a lot of it on Starbucks. And lunch out. So I plan on cutting back on both of those. And then we can put some money away. And she can go to something other than a community college and we won't have to borrow a bazillion dollars to send her, just a gazillion.

My parents are beginning their big move this weekend. They'll be coming up with boxes of stuff and I think that towards the beginning weeks of October they'll be using a moving company to get the rest of the stuff up to their new place. It occurred to me today that they won't be using their old phone number anymore. I was very sad when the area code changed from 516 to 631. But this is more of a bummer. I love their phone number and I'll be sad to lose it.

How petty of me.

---

Because I'm not full of anything supremely interesting, I will leave you with this.

I love a good sandwich.

I like bread that doesn't have too hard a crust on it. Crust is okay so long as it doesn't gouge my gums and the roof of my mouth. Seeds in the bread are okay too. French bread or french rolls bore the hell out of me. I enjoy a hearty, soulful bread with lots of grainy goodness.

I enjoy cheese with tomato against it, especially when it's been wrapped nicely and sitting together for a little while. I enjoy sprouts on my sandwich, and even cucumber if it is sliced very thin. Too much stuff on a sandwich is messy, and should be avoided because let's face it, then it becomes a salad with some sliced meat on top because it flops out of the bread and back upon the plate. You may as well just eat a salad.

Right. Anyone agree or disagree? Use the comments to discuss. Thanks for reading and stopping by.

Where did my weekend go???

Oh my God, what just happened? The weekend? Where is it? Where did it go? It was right here ... and. Heavens. I do believe I squandered it.

This weekend, we stayed home, and we did next to nothing. I mean the adventure outdoors fun stuff kinds of things didn't get done. Some dishes did. And some laundry. Oh and Doug mowed the lawn. Aside from that... I think I slept, read, and watched football.

And this is a crying shame, because this weekend was one of the most gorgeous ever. But we didn't enjoy it with gusto. Sigh. What a waste.

Now I have to go back to work and feel cheated. Where was my fun? It sat there waiting for me. Why didn't I embrace it and grab it and run with it? I am a durn fool. That's why.

Enough crying. I got what I paid for. It's my own fault.

"Hello Allis!" - Camping at Allis State Park Vermont

I did embrace the updating there pretty good for a while. This week just totally got away from me, and I found myself very not wanting to type and write. So instead I built Flickr.com sets.

One is from this past weekend's camping trip, which I shall write about here. The other I did for Aaron. He doesn't have Flickr, nor does he have internet access at the moment. I found his old pictures from his Antarctica and New Zealand trip and posted them for him so he can show people when he gets to Washington State. More on that later.

---

So yeah. Camping. Saturday morning Doug, Geoff and I went to Vermont with the dogs and went to Allis State Park in Randolph, just south of Norwich and Barre. It is a really cool place, very beautiful campsites all spread out apart from each other. I'll defiantly go back there.

We set up our camp, did some hiking, and settled down for the night. We were looking at the stars and admiring the fact that even with the lantern and the fire we could see the milky way. I looked down at my book for a minute, looked back up at the stars and didn't see them at all.

"Hmmm. That's funny, the stars vanished. I wonder wh-"

splat, drip, deluge. Crap! The sky opened up. We scrambled to cover stuff, threw the dogs in the tent, grabbed our books and jumped in ourselves. It was pouring like I've never seen before. We were saturated in less than a minute and now we had two sopping wet dogs in the tent with us too; two dogs who didn't get a chance to go for their night time walkies. Great.

I had to use my shirt to wipe up the tent floor where the flap was open and we were jumping in. So my shirt took one for the team. Luckily my fleece was on my sleeping bag or I would have been topless until further notice (with Geoff in the tent, that is no fun. Otherwise... you know).

I sat awake until it let up, ran out to the truck for a dry shirt, and took the dogs for their walk. I then had visions of water leaking into the tent all night based on our Mt. Blue camping experience and cursed my husband because he said "eh, it's not gonna rain this weekend."

I cursed the campground because there weren't any good trees for us to tarp onto in order to cover the tent to prevent something like this (that was my plan) from happening. I cursed myself for not being able to go to sleep. I was exhausted from our hike earlier in the day but constantly fearful that in the night, without my diligent eye, the tent would leak like a sieve, we'd be soaked and wake up swimming. Everyone else slept great.

---

Sunday morning dawned grey and gloomy and I thought for sure it was going to rain like a bastard on us all weekend. We went up to Barre to go shopping and geocache, drove on some insane dirt roads and backed out of a few because we didn't want a repeat performance of the truck getting stuck the way we did in Maine the weekend before.

That's just embarrassing.

By about 3 in the afternoon the gloom cleared and we had nothing but gorgeous blue Vermont skies with giant marshmallow clouds and soft wispy breezes to keep us company. It was perfect. That night was also perfect, and we had a raging campfire under the same stars, only this time they didn't vanish behind the deluge.

---

Monday was awesome. More unbelievably perfect weather. We took our time striking camp, because the park was closing. It wasn't like anyone needed to be in our space that night so the ranger totally relaxed on us and we left an hour after check out. We geocached around Randolph, and up into Roxbury, and then went to Texas Falls in the Green Mountain National Forest. The waterfall wasn't going very fast, and unlike the waterfall of our Maine Weekend, there were signs everywhere forbidding anyone to step in and take a dip. No swimming, no walking here, no touching that, no this, no that. The difference between National Forest and state park is incredibly noticeable.

We had a really nice picnic, and got home around 8pm. It was a lot of fun, and I'm incredibly sorry to see summer dwindling to a close around me. I need like two more nice sunny cool weekends with a totally worry-proof tent, and then I'll feel that 2005 summer can gracefully exit stage left.

---

Aaron came and stayed with us on Wednesday. It seems that for right now he and Michelle are going to be splitting up. Which sucks. For them indeed, but totally for me because they are all my fun in the whole world.

He's taken a job in Washington State with the Forest Service (the same people who say no to swimming in the waterfall in Vermont). She'll stay in Maine.

I can't really address the details of what is going on with them here, but I'm really sad for them. I've always loved them individually and as a couple. They've been the most steadfast friends we've had for over a decade. I'm hoping to not lose contact with either of them, and wonder what the future holds for them.

In the meantime, if you pray, please pray for his safety and happiness as he goes West to Washington to the National Forests to patrol by motorcycle and ATV. And pray for Michelle to find solace and happiness in her life. That's about it.

It was really nice having Aaron visit, and say bye to the kids, moreso than to say bye to us... He went to the bus stop with me when I took Geoff up. He could have spent time packing his bike, but he knows. He knows that he is Geoff's hero and that Geoff isn't going to see him for quite a long time.

So yeah. Sad here. Geoff is taking it well, but I know in mid-October he's going to say "I want to go see Aaron, and go to his house and go hiking and play with his dog..." and honey, that just ain't happening again. Aaron's not there. Michelle is, but I don't know if she'll want a house full of us without Aaron there. It's kind of weird.

---

This weekend is football weekend. And in years past every time I've written about how much I love football and cannot WAIT for the season to start, something horrible happens. September 10, 2001 I wrote a big big thing about how football is the single greatest thing in the universe and then we all know what happened September 11th. So I won't jinx us. Football is nice. I'm happy it's back. Let's leave it at that.

As for the whole Katrina mess, I have a lot of thoughts and opinions and feelings, but really feel it's all been said and shared elsewhere. I just am tired of the talk and the pundits and the blame and the fingerpointing. I'm weary... and just wish for all of this to someday be behind us all as a nation. It sucks.

I will say that there is nothing cooler than a surprise gift in the mail. I got home from work one day this week and ETS had mailed me a CD of the Young Dubliners. I haven't had time to pop it into the CD player in my car (it is in the trunk and it's a bitch to take out and yadda yadda so I want to listen to it in the truck), but I'm longing to do that. It gave me such a laugh to get real mail. How sad is that.

Alright -- there's your update. Thrilling. Sorry it took so long for those of you who were worried. I'm just a bit befuddled and occupied. Embracing the updating will be something that happens more frequently, I'm sure. In the meantime, go enjoy pictures.

"What the Hell?!"

I was watching Fox News while folding laundry and getting ready for our camping trip. Night was descending on New Orleans and the reporters in the field are increasingly frustrated. Geraldo Rivera is stationed at the convention center, and I am witnessing a man as he is quickly becoming unglued.

He had tears running down his cheeks as he was holding someone's 10 month old baby, a baby who probably hasn't had a diaper change in 2 days. He was freaking out about how people there are being ignored and were dying. Tourists and guests at the W hotel were put into the front of the line to get out of town days ago, and the residents of New Orleans are all still there. Stranded. Food and water by the truckload has been coming in to the Superdome and other places but the Convention Center is under lockdown for some reason. No one can even walk away to go somewhere else, to strike out on his or her own... and they are dying there and on the highway above.

Geraldo was screaming at the camera, screaming to anyone who will listen, "Why won't they let the people leave, just walk away from here. Go and find food and water. Why are they being held? Why won't they let those who can go. WHAT THE HELL!!!!"

As the sun is failing, so is his composure. Shutting down, turning dark, and coming undone.

They interviewed Shepard Smith, who is standing on the bridge above the Convention Center, and he said the same thing. He responded to Geraldo's "What the hell!" with the fact that a checkpoint is on the end of the bridge preventing anyone from leaving. Convoy trucks were driving behind him, passing the hundreds of people camped out on the bridge. Not stopping. Most likely filled with supplies, but not for these people on the overpass or underneath at the Convention Tomb.

I had to walk away. I had a bad feeling that it was going to be a very bad night in New Orleans.

---

Geoff asked me yesterday "If they rebuild New Orleans, will they name it New New Orleans?" And I thought of New New York on Futurama and had to laugh in spite of my feelings. Thank you Matt Groening. I have no idea what they'll name it or even if they should rebuild it. Not that it isn't worth it, but can we afford to go through this again?

---

I wrote the rest of this entry before I wrote the above. It has a more jolly sense to it, and it is about camping and having fun and being stinky willingly. Upon reflection, I was going to delete it, but it just shows that I'm going through some mood swings and really should not be watching Geraldo Rivera freaking out.

Indeed, Geraldo. What the hell indeed? God save us all.

---

Allis, Here We Come!

We cannot check in until 2pm. Google Maps tells me this trip should take just under four hours. We gassed up last night, before the prices rise yet again this morning. I think we're going to go and buy a French press for coffee... if we can find one. The coffee singles by Maxwell House just do not provide enough life-lifting elixir for my liking. I'd also like an air mattress and a new tarp. So a visit to Sprawl-Mart or Target may bring me all my camping desires.

I'm not high maintenance or anything.

A lot of my gal readers may be totally skeeved out, but I can honestly forego showering for a couple of days. Ewww! I know! How French of me. Seriously though, I am in touch with my inner caveman. I can shower Saturday morning and be perfectly happy not showering until I get home on Monday night. I will get good and sweaty and hikey and muddy and stinky on Saturday, maybe get a swim in some sort of aneurysm inducing freezing pond or waterfall, and be perfectly happy sitting around in my own filth that night. And I'll do it again on Sunday... and then Monday, perhaps a shower before the drive out just so my truck doesn't smell too assy by Tuesday morning.

Yeah, baby. That's what camping is all about. Releasing all those inhibitions. My hands and face will be clean. I'll have a hat on to hide my scary Medusa locks. Cleanliness in other regions of the body won't be that important to me. I'm free from the Health and Beauty slavery for a few days... not that I'm much of a slave to it in the first place.

---

We're going farther up into the north of Vermont than I would have liked. It was one of the very few within a four hour drive that had space. We could have gone somewhere with "primitive" facilities out in Western MA but Doug didn't book it on Thursday night when we were shopping for places -- thank Gord. I may be low maintenance but I prefer not to use an outhouse shitter this late in the season, if you know what I mean.

I was incredibly happy to score this spot after trying all the southern Vermont tier campgrounds. The staff member I spoke with was incredibly friendly and nice, we joked around about how Massachusetts people drive right over the border and just plop down. He said they were remote and he always has space. I told him I didn't want to camp a mile away from I-89, that remote sounded damn good to me... so he said "Alright! Rock on."

Any state employee who says Rock On is a friend of mine.

---

Jessica is not coming with us. She was invited to go RV camping (aka FAKE camping) with her friend Courtney and family. For someone who hates going camping so damn much she sure was eager to go with someone with an RV. I'm going to miss her horribly because even though she is reluctant she can be helpful. She sleeps in the truck with the dogs, which means this time the dogs will have to be in the tent with us... and that could prove a tad over cozy. Maybe I'll pass on that air mattress after all... hmmm.

We dropped her off and Geoff was PISSED that she was going RV camping. He made me miserable for three hours in the afternoon yesterday bitching and moaning about sleeping on the ground and in a tent and not having an RV and they have a cool RV and why can't we have an RV.

I was ready to put him under the RV. Just drive back over there and say "Hey, Lyle... back up over this lump wouldya?"

I don't want an RV. I don't see the point in getting back to nature in a building that I drive to nature in. I don't see the point in getting 3 miles to the gallon. It's bad enough I get 17 in the truck. I think getting away from the four wall rectangle or square concept is important once in a while. I'm not saying I'd like to live in a geodesic dome or anything, but I'm all set in breaking free from the modern constraints for a while.

Like a week, but with a shower in the middle. Like I said, I'm not high maintenance.

---

So. This is it. We're off. Allis, here we come. Hopefully I'll have some stupendous SUNNY pictures for you and none of this freezing cold rain crap that I've had to put up with lately. Whatever you're doing this weekend, be happy and safe. Or else my sweaty armpit is gonna gitcha on Monday night!

I hate you Walt Freakin' Whitman...

I knew someday I would be. Someone picked up on one of our Flickr.com pictures and featured it in their journal. RadioOpenSource used (with permission) our Doug doing Homer Simpson imitation for their latest piece on Walt Whitman. Click here to read, and to listen if you want to. Now, our ongoing passion regarding all things Simpson and the fact I grew up in Huntington has FINALLY paid off! Wooo!

---

Today I am working from home. I have spreadsheets, floorplans and tons of stuff to do. Finalizing yet another chain for installation. I like having this opportunity to be at home... especially when unleaded gas is $3.29 a gallon. I can't find it any cheaper in our direct neighborhood. And it seems to be totally arbitrary. One station is $3.29 and across the street is $3.50. Who decides? Why the huge difference? Does a back rub and foot massage come with the $3.50 because I tell you what -- it should!

I'm disgusted with what is happening in New Orleans... I'm so sad for the people there and the painfully slow response FEMA and other agencies are exhibiting. I was listening to the mayor of NO on the radio this morning blaming everyone but his own administration for the chaos. No blaming the cops who themselves are looting, no blaming of anyone in his administration for not providing transport out of town for those lacking. The president's response is uninspiring. Politicians continue their vacation instead of running back to the capitol where they belong to work on things...

This is serious down there people! The fact that families on high ground are taking in people because there is nowhere else for them to be shows me that you can indeed rely on the kindness of strangers, but it seems to me like the folks who are supposed to spring to action are standing there numb. "Hurmmn. Will ya look at that. Jeezh, that's a mess." Um, yeah...

We're going camping again. We're leaving tomorrow. I need to get to work again, having worked a bit this morning and now am waiting for the batteries on the laptop to recharge. I made reservations for us at Allis State Park in Vermont... Hopefully we'll stay dry this weekend.

Oh -- and I love Amy's quote on the sidebar there. It somehow makes me think of Stewie Griffin. "Damn you Starbucks!" Heh.