Little Changes

Facebook has a memories feed where you can look back on stuff you've posted in the past. I think of the Guster lyric, "Nostalgia, she's a shit disease, it's a shame to reminisce." 

But I usually do look back and see what was up. 

As usual, there is a lot of Guster. 13 years ago today I posted a video from a Chicago radio station website of. Guster singing Go Cubs Go with Jeff. Garlin. Adorable.

This time last year Jess had bought me a print of a webzine about Laika the Cosmonaut space dog. Which wrecked me and made me cry then, and makes me cry still. I am not sure where I unpacked it when I got home last year, from my mom's... it has to be in my bedroom somewhere. 

In 2019, I had to have an "emergency" head shot taken for my college web magazine. I thought it was a cute picture so I posted it, and it was my profile picture for quite a while. 

And I noticed. 

How much weight I had in my face at the time. It's really is a cute picture with myy wash and wear hair that isn't styled, a scarf I happened to have at my desk, the white top that normally I'd never wear to the office because I always get food on my white tops. It's totally me. But that face.

What a difference.

 I think in 2019 I must have weighed at least 230. I had lost some weight since moving to the DC area, and then the pandemic hit and slowed my progress. During Covid I got down to 195 or so but that was from being sick and in the hospital. Went back up to like 220 after and was there for a very long time. 

But I can say, looking at pictures from the past, there's a difference. 

Here's another, of my sister and me, and I think the kids were small, and cute, and I have a picture of them across the table from us. This was at a restaurant in Newburyport, I'll say 15+ years back. It's weird to look at pictures and say wow, that was a different thing/face/body/whatever. 

My friend Chris told me when he looks at his Facebook Memories, he says "who is that fat bastard? oh, that's me." I know exactly what he means, only I'm cuter. 

Today was a pretty good day. I didn't have any meetings until 1pm, so I got to catch up on helpdesk tickets, email clients and say "are you all set with this, I have not heard from you since February..." that kind of thing. 

I have a spreadsheet that I'm supposed to bury my face in and pay attention to, and I didn't look at that. Some days, I do a lot of work and some days I don't quite push it as hard. I had three meetings this afternoon, and basically finished work at 5 and was super done for the day. 

It poured out all day. Dahlia is willing to go outside, and Princess Toffee who usually stays indoors if it is even slightly damp, went out with too. I wanted to walk them, but it was just too rainy. Sorry, girls. 

Geoff cooked dinner, and I did an indoor walk while he cooked. I didn't think I'd get a walk in with the weather, but, I went to the gym after dinner. I wasn't willing to lose my streak of 10k+ days! 

Linda and I talked while I walked the treadmill. No playlist, just Linda and chatting. I wanted to do at least another 20 minutes on the treadmill, but ended up at 40 minutes with my chat with her. 

Tomorrow I think it is going to rain still, not sure what our weekend plans are going to be. 

Digits below this picture of me and Linda. Oh, yesterday was "National Siblings Day" so there are tons of pictures of me and Linda from that day. And now this one. 

  

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.   Two walks. Indoors, 20 min/.93 miles (thinking I wasn't going to get another walk at all). Treadmill at the gym, 40 min/1.79 miles. 12k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

8am: 118
5pm: 132
11pm: 95

food:
coffee/water
8am: phentermine
9:45am: met+glip
12noon: large bowl of mac&cheese w/chorizo
2pm: protein shake
6pm: met+glip
7pm: cheesesteak meat w/mushrooms+onions, american cheese
10:30pm: jardiance

Sending Love Out Through The Air

Doug went to the guest room at some point last night, so it was me and the dogs in bed. I woke up at 5:30, went to pee, came back and put a podcast on. The podcast episode was number 3 in a series from The Constant on finding Noah's Ark. And listening to Mark yell and scream hilariously about a 1976 documentary about the search for the vessel had me chuckling instead of falling back asleep. Eventually I did, but I'm going to need to pick up where I fell off and listen to the rest. 

Dahlia woke up at 7-ish. So I decided I was on dog duty. Got up to feed them and found Geoff already in the kitchen, so he fed them while I went to the bathroom and put my shoes on to take them outside. 

Since Doug is usually the early bird with them, I let him sleep today. We walked around the yard, talked to our neighbor who has the pittie Meg. We haven't seen them for a while, weather and schedules being what they are. So we talked about getting together for some fun. I checked the weather, and it looks like rain all weekend, in fact, starting tonight it's supposed to get bad and just stay bad. 

Perhaps this is the weekend I get some things done? Hmmm. 

So up early, drinking coffee, Doug sleeping, dogs back in bed with him, Geoff to the gym, I settled down with my coffee. I didn't feel like actually working just yet, so I surfed through facebook. I have a friend who's daughter just had her second baby in March. She gave me constant updates as the baby was coming and right after she arrived, but I haven't heard from her in almost a month. 

I messaged her to check in and let her know I was thinking on mommy and baby, thinking on her, thinking on the big brother, and the daddy... and just having this kind of quiet morning contemplative moment. 

She and I are different planes religiously, so it is hard sometimes to tell someone you're praying for them if they may not be open to that concept. So I worded it that I'm "sending love out through the air." 

I sat for a while, sending love through the air to a lot of people. I think I like that thought. Since I can't hug some people in person, and "thoughts and prayers" has just become the most empty and vapid sentiment, thrown around by politicians after school shooting tragedies that leave small children under the age of 10 dead on their school floors but do nothing to fix problems. 

A long time ago I used to do morning devotionals or evensong prayer times. Back in the college years, and back when I had wee babies who would be awake at weird small hours. I've gotten way out of that habit. Yesterday when I said I had to do better with getting out of bed in the morning, I decided to put those words into action. 

I'm glad I did.

And I may have sent love to you, too. If you're one of the three or four people I know personally who read this blog. 

Work today was good. I had a really good client call, a slack message exchange with someone who is leaving and I'm incredibly sad to lose him. I told him he is forever a fish in my ecosystem, and I treasure him. We had office hours, which is always my favorite meeting every other week. 

Both dogs were fed on time at 5, and because I started working early, I had no problem walking away from the keyboard to take walkies. Doug was still working and Dahlia was needy. She hadn't pooped since yesterday (this drives me nuts) so ... off we went. It was a good long walk, and because it was still light out, I steered her into the park by the elementary school so when she did poop, I'd be able to ditch the bag in the provided poop receptacle that they have there. Whee!

I went home and got Toffee, patiently waiting for me (not really patiently) and took her up the street and back. Shorter walk but productive and a full half hour for me. Yay. Amazing how many steps you can put in a day if you just take the dogs for a walk. 

Doug made dinner, Geoff had gone to the market and got the makings for French Bread Pizza. He thought we already had pepperoni, but Doug had used it in the spaghetti last night, for some reason. Ha. 

I think tonight it is supposed to start raining and then never stop? Maybe? Which is no good for dogs who need to go for walks, or one dog that needs to go for a walk so she can poop. Luckily, she's not shy about rain, like Princess Toffee is. 

No picture today, nothing to snap. Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Dog walk. Dahlia for 19 min, Toffee for 11 (she pooped faster) 1.38 miles; 10k+ by bedtime.

blood glucose:

7:30am: 125
5pm: 134
10:45pm: 107

food:
coffee/water
7:30: phentermine
9:45am: met+glip
12:45pm: pb& low sugar j on 647 multigrain
7pm: met+glip
7:45pm: piece of french bread pizza w/feta cheese, black olives, mushrooms
10pm: jardiance

It's colder than it looks outside

Jeez, it is cold out. And not just like "I'm southern now, and so 50 is cold" cold out. This morning we had frost on the ground. The dogs got back in bed with me and we happily snoozed until almost 9. 

I really have to start getting up sooner in the mornings. I just do my best sleeping between 6am and 9am. There were a lot of meetings today, tomorrow is lighter but two with clients. 

Today was dentist appointment day. I thought about canceling it because of this cold, but I knew if I canceled it, I'd probably drag my feet on rescheduling. 

I explained that to my dental hygienist and she said she wears a mask anyway, so nothing to worry about it. It has taken me a long time to get used to her. She likes to lecture about flossing. And the first few times, it was weird because it is the exact same speech each time. Word for word. Kind of an odd bird. But lately she hasn't been lecturing. In fact this time she told me I'm doing a much better job of brushing at the gum line and flossing. We even made some jokes, and it was rather lighthearted. 

She is originally from Portsmouth NH and moved here about 6 years ago, and talks a lot about how homesick she is. She's headed up there this weekend to go dress shopping with her daughter for her July wedding. All very sweet. And I was a little envious of her trip. Portsmouth is so nice. And I've told her how I used to live not too far, and how we go to Maine in August for the Gusters. So I've gotten to know her more than just her lecturing about flossing. 

I greatly enjoy having my teeth cleaned, I think I have mentioned this before. It is kind of relaxing and a little zen. After the cleaning I took a longer walk home. It was warm enough. And I took the dogs on a poop walk. The other day it took Dahlia about a mile plus to get things done, but today we made it halfway around the block and she went. Huzzah. 

Tomorrow is supposed to be rainy which is disappointing. But warmer? Hopefully still good for dog walking. 

Digits below !

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  3 walks. 10 min/.5 miles (to the dentist); 15 min/.71 miles (from the dentist, the long way home); 20 min/.86 miles (Dog walk); 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 121
5pm: 144
10:45pm: 182* (see pasta/trail mix/and time of jardiance below)

food:
coffee/water
9am: phentermine
10:45am: met+glip
12pm: english muffin w/pb+bonnie maman's cherry preserves 
6pm: met+glip; bowl of spaghetti w/pepperoni and olives 
8pm: trail mix w/raisins, peanuts, m&ms 
10pm: jardiance

Sheep in the big city

I headed into the office today. Meant to leave by 10am but got a little distracted. Thankfully our manager canceled a standing group meeting at 11am because 2 of our other team members were out of office today. So I had some wiggle room. No need to rush. 

Doug dropped me at the metro station, how kind of him, and I was at my office in 35 minutes. It really is an easy go of it. I sometimes forget how close I am to downtown. I grabbed lunch from the cafe, it's always so good and when they post the menu weekly I always say "damn, I wish I was at the office for this grub." Ha. 

I ate a damn good brisket with mashed potatoes. I got some work done, saw some people, went to a run through of the Tiny Desk that I was going to miss due to a meeting. I had a nice chat with our department head, and that meeting that made me miss the tiny desk.  

And then my friends C & C arrived. They're camping in a town nearby, and came into the city to do the touristy thing yesterday and today. And I'm part of the touristing. 

We had a great time, and decided instead of walking the mall or going to the Tidal Basin because it is a lot further a walk from the Smithsonian metro than one thinks, we went to dinner.  Doug initially was going to join us but still sick, so he bowed out. 

The waitress told us it was happy hour, my friend C said it was early bird special time. We laughed. 

Dinner was great. Time together was great. They headed back to the campground and I headed home. I walked from the train to the house, thinking to myself how this one little hill used to kick my ass and I'd have to stop and rest halfway up. 

Always great to have a nice visit. 

Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Three walks. from metro to office, from restaurant to metro, from metro to my house.  1.68 miles total. 13k+ steps by bedtime.

blood glucose:

9:30am: 122
n/apm: n/a
10:15pm: 112

food:
coffee/water
9:30am: phentermine, met+glip
11:45am: beef brisket, greenbeans, smashed red bliss potatoes.
4pm: met+glip
4:30pm: chicken+waffle
9pm: jardiance

Gloomy Gloomy Gloomy

Ugh, it was just so dark and gloomy today. Doug had a 7am meeting so we both were up at 6:45. I fed the dogs, took them out, and we got back in bed while Doug was on his call. 

Most people would have just been up for the day but happily both dogs wanted snuggles. Doug came back up around 8, telling me he was taking the rest of the day off sick. I had an alarm set for myself at 9.  I messaged my boss that I was going to be late today, in time for our 11am meeting.

And we continued to snooze. And it felt good. I still feel gross from this cold, and bed just felt so right and perfect. When Geoff got home from the gym the dogs jumped out of bed barking, so that got me out of bed so Doug could sleep. 

I did a remote thing for a client and it went perfectly. Had another call with a different client and he didn't show up so we rescheduled. And I did a bunch of helpdesk tickets and had things running nicely. 

Doug napped before dinner while I cooked it while waiting for Geoff to come home from work. 

Lately, Dahlia has not wanted to poop in our yard. Grass too tall? Wet? not sure why. But she'll poop on the old dog bed before she'll poop outside. 

This morning she did successfully poop out there so I was quite happy with her. I've been bringing cookies out there with me to praise her. The past couple nights I've taken her for a walk at about 8pm, to get her to poop. Last night she took forever. Tonight she took forever and a day. We walked down to the Pokemon gym at the end of the street, walked back up to the house, walked past the house, looped up the road, another block over. What the hell, dog. POOP FOR GOODNESS SAKE! 

Finally, productive. And we headed home. 

Knowing Toffee would be jelly, because she a jelly dog, I told Doug to put her harness on so I'd take her for a stroll too when I got back.

Toffee is such a good bean. Out the gate, one block up, poooooooop, Hooray. We walked up the street a little further to the other Pokegym, just to do it. 

Not only is it gloomy out, it is freezing. We have friends in the area who are camping in their RV and she messaged me that it was stupid wet and cold. I feel bad because last weekend was 80+ degrees, and yeah. Which would be worse? Baking in an RV all night or putting on extra layers. 

Tomorrow I am meeting them at my office to show them around, and then we were going to walk around the mall in DC and look at monuments. It should be sunny, maybe windy? But about 50 degrees max. I feel so southern thinking that's cold, but with the wind yeah, it will be. It might be. I took the afternoon off to entertain them, Doug is still not feeling well enough to come down with me. 

But I have something fun to look forward to tomorrow. And probably some pictures. But here's the picture I mentioned yesterday, our pretty purple irises that just bring me joy when I'm walking around the yard with the dogs. 

Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Two walks today. 11 minutes inside while dinner was cooking for .43 miles. then Dog walk after dinner, 33 min/1.45 miles. 10k+ by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:45am: 122
5pm: 153
10:30pm: 104

food:
coffee/water
9:45am: phentermine; met+glip
10:45am: 5 slices of bacon (thank you Geoff)
2:30pm: pb & low sugar j, on 647 multigrain bread
5:30pm: met+glip
6pm: small bowl of spaghetti w/meat sauce
9pm: jardiance
red wine+diet ginger ale

I let it take me

 I've been forcing myself to be up and active, even with this cold. Doug really started to come down with it yesterday, he is about 4 days behind me, I guess. And he's pathetic. Lumpy on couch, lumpy on bed, moaning, honking his schnozzola. Ugh.

He just looked miserable on the couch, and I said "you don't want to go to plant swa----" and he said "no." I shouldn't have even asked. 

All told, I'm glad we had some fun yesterday, because today was a wash out.

Last night I did not sleep well, so I went into the guest room around 2am to play a podcast. I slept horribly, and I forced myself up at 9:45 to do steps and not miss that hour. Later in the day though, I went to nap. I have had a hard time napping in the day lately, but I passed right out. I woke up during the 3pm hour and I'd set an alarm for 3:50pm, but. It was for AM instead. So I slept until 4:30 or so and didn't feel badly. I needed it. I let it take me, I fell asleep so deeply, dogs all cuddled on me, window open, soft rain, rather chilly. It was nice.

I made up for it though in steps. Those 250 steps had nothing on today. 

Doug made a really good dinner, he roasted lamb shanks with onions and potatoes, it was delicious. I could have eaten 6 of them but we each got one. Geoff said he felt like a caveman eating his. I can see that. 

I do have a picture of the irises from the side of the house. They are so lovely. Will post it tomorrow. I'm too tired to get it off my phone. We also have some tulips that opened up, very yellow. I kind of wish everything was in one place, the plants are all over the yard with no rhyme or reason. Next will be some day lillies by the back gate. Looking forward to that. 

One thing we really need to do is mow the lawn. It's overdue by at least one week. But Doug not feeling well means Geoff isn't confident in the first run of the mower for the year - it may need some TLC. Hopefully next weekend. 

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours.  slept through 3pm because I so needed a nap. fitbit measured 4 actual walks: 

• 19 min/.42 miles (I think this was just in the yard with the dogs). 
• Toffee walk, 34 min/1.42 miles,
• 10 min indoor walk while Doug ran to CVS, because I was far behind the benchmarks for the day, for .44 miles. 
• dahlia poop excursion, 17 min/.65 miles

12k+ by bedtime.

blood glucose:

10am: 117
4:30pm: 133
10:45pm: 95

food:
coffee/water
10am: phentermine, Met+glip
2:30pm: pb and low sugar j on 647 whole wheat bread
5pm:met+glip
5:45pm: lamb shank w/potatoes and onions
6:30pm: mixed nuts
red wine+ginger ale
10:45pm: jardiance (should have been closer to 9pm but i forgot)

The Road To Damascus

We live in the southern part of our county, and up north it starts to get hilly and wide open. I'd love to live up there, Poolsville, Damascus, Mt. Airy, I'd even live in Frederick. If I never had to go into DC again, I'd go north. 

Doug and Geoff went and picked up the car in Baltimore today. I just was not feeling like Hard Pants and alertness for driving. Cold Medicine head, floating, balloon brain, it would not have been good. So I stayed here with the goal of folding laundry, doing an interior walk (it was rainy) and keeping dogs company. 

The boys were back faster than I thought they would be, so I only got a 25 min. walk in. And no laundry was folded. 

The car Doug bought is a Volvo. I forget what model and I'm too tired to go across the room and pick up the book/manual and see. He asked me if I wanted to go for a ride, and I did. He handed me the keys and I handed them back - see Cold Medicine Head up above there. Good reason to not drive and enjoy being a passenger. 

Overall, I like it. It is a hatch back, with a huge cargo area there. Nice. Much bigger than the Mini. It rides like a dream. It is a 2012, and has bluetooth for the phone and everything. Dual Zone heating/cooling. Nice. I won't freeze to death while Doug is the Driver now. 

I like it. 

We went north to Damascus to Jimmie Cone, they opened on St. Patrick's Day so people had time to mob the place and today with the rain it wasn't crowded. I have eschewed ice cream, as you know, if you read my food info below, for quite some time but today I enjoyed a chocolate vanilla swirl in a cake cone, with sprinkles. Like ya do. 

We spent more time driving around the back roads. 

On the way up we took the highway but coming home it was the farms and the power lines. We passed the Two Story Chimney ciderworks and banged a u-turn to go back. 

There was a guy there singing 90s alt rock songs by Foo Fighters, Nirvana, and Soundgarden. He wasn't super good, in fact Doug found he couldn't sit there and listen to him perform. I could suffer through it to sit inside but he was being tortured. We headed outside to the damp benches. 

Their cider there is really good but we just never go up there. It is a little out of the way, but I like it. So I'm making a note for us to go up again before too long. The guy behind the counter asked if we'd been there before and I said yes. We had Phineas with us - so it was in the summer of 2023, I think. They installed these cool sliding barn doors, and it still smells like fresh woodworking in there. 

We noted that there used to be axe throwing there, but it doesn't seem to be a thing any more. Maybe no one did it. No one came. Maybe the insurance was a problem. Probably better to not have axes and cider and beer. 

When we got home, Doug grilled some burgers, I quickly ate some protein things because my blood sugar was stupid high. I hate when you're enjoying a treat and later you say "holy fuck." Thanks to modern medicine, cheese, nuts, and a burger, a  couple hours later it was much better. In fact kind of low. I'll take it. Happy for that. 

The rain had let up and the dogs were being annoying, I had 1500 steps left and still had light. Dahlia has been really stubborn about pooping in the yard lately - even though we've cleaned up after them, she prefers to poop on an old dog bed in the living room (gah) or while on a walk. Never in the yard. 

The good thing is her poops are solid. Absolutely solid. And they don't smell. Which is weird. She'll sneak over there, when we're not looking (she's smart and sneaky) and drop some bricks. And then an hour later I walk past and see it. Ice cold. Thanks, dog. 

So I wanted her to poop, and she wasn't pooping in the yard, so I took her for a walk. Success. Thank you. Back to the house and grab Toffee because it is only fair. Toffee has NO problem pooping in the yard, and she likes to poop on a walk too. We didn't get far - around the corner and halfway up the block. Done, back to the house. So I got that second walk in, and got all my steps before 7:30pm. 

All told, a good day. I'm starting to feel a little better. And now Doug's got the cold. Poor thing. He said "oh this is how you felt on Tuesday, ugh..." Yup. That's how I felt on Tuesday. Hopefully he can survive. 

Not sure what's up for tomorrow. It is plant swap day at the Atlas Brewery in DC, but if he's feeling nasty, we may not go. We haven't been for a while, I'd like to go. 

Anyway. Digits below. 

 digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.   2 walks. One indoors while the boys were picking up the car, 25 min/1.19 miles. then after dinner 18 min/.73 miles. 11k+ by bedtime 

blood glucose:

10am: 146
5pm: 246
10:30pm: 84

food:
coffee/water
10am: phentermine, Met+glip
12:30pm: pb& low sugar j on 647 wheat bread
3pm: jimmy cone ice cream
4pm: 2 ciders at the cider farm
5pm: met+glip; 2 baby bel cheeses; mixed nuts
7pm: one cheeseburger, no roll, one half dill pickle
white wine
9pm: jardiance

FriYay

Hard to have a lot of energy and enthusiasm with this cold. I slept in again, until the absolute latest I could justify, which is 9:45. I want to do the 9am steps and get a shower, and do the 10 am steps and be covered for the first 2 hours of the day. With that accomplished, I had an 11am meeting with a client and new employee there, and we ended up talking an hour after the meeting was over. She's passionate. She's energetic. It was nice to talk to her but I really just wanted to go nap.

Geoff got home from work, I was still working and I had no dinner ideas. He pointed out we had  mac&cheese and hamburger (our pantry safety meal for when there's nothing to eat) so he started to chef it up for us. Doug was napping, and I knew we needed a trip to target for dog food. We were out of a lot of other things too but had just enough to feed one dog in the morning. After I ate, I schlepped my ass to target. 

After I left, I realized I should have bought some more night time cold medicine. Doh. I spent a lot of time just walking around, buying just what I needed (dog food, paper towel, eggs) and got to 10k steps before 8pm, quite the feat. Sometimes I'm pushing those last 1000 steps at 9pm. Today, thanks to my inside walk and then going to Target I got all the required steps in. 

When I got home, Doug had picked up some Vinho Verde while running errands today, so he opened a bottle for us to enjoy while watching his latest find for free streaming, The Krofft Supershow. 

He insists I have seen this. But I swear as God is my witness I've never seen this show. Never once. Wondering if Linda knows it. I've seen a lot of Sid and Marty Krofft TV shows, but never this one .... abject bad weirdness. 

He's over on the couch laughing his ass off. He's not even high. It's the kind of show where you should be high when you watch it, I think.

It is surreal, and really shitty and bad, and horrible and not even funny. 

Tomorrow we have to go up to Baltimore and pick up a used car that Doug bought while I was in DC on my Guster trip. I'll share more about that tomorrow. 

I'm in no mood really to go to Baltimore but Geoff says he has a lot of homework that he has to get to for his Tuesday class. So I'll drag myself out of bed and up there. Maybe I can convince Doug we need to eat at Jimmy Seafood or something. Since it isn't football season, it's safe for us to go there. IYKYK, Steelers Fans.

I took the dogs out before bed, and Toffee made a bee line for the holly tree out front, and I think that's where the rabbits live. One had already made it through the fence and ran south on our street. Another one was stuck inside the fence and I yelled at her to stop, and it made it through the gate and east up the side street. 

Note to self: Go out before the dogs go out, and make noise and scare the bunnies out of their sleepy spot. I also hope they don't have a nest of babies under the lawn by the holly somewhere. And there were three for sure, now two. 

Keeping my eye out for future hoppers. 

no picture. I was going to take one of the irises but forgot.  Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  Indoor walk while Doug was getting blood work done. 32 min/1.79 miles.  11k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9:45am: 143
4:20pm: 106
10:30pm: 112

food:
coffee/water
9:45am: phentermine
11am: met+glip
1:30pm: small bowl of left over chinese food (general tso's chicken, pepper steak)
5pm: met+glip
6:30pm: bowl of mac&cheese w/hamburger and salsa
9:30pm: jardiance
white wine 

Animals are gonna animal

My focus when taking the dogs outside has been firmly on Dahlia the fence jumper. Toffee is just so good outside, unless she does not want to come in. And even then, heck. Stay outside while I take goober dog back in. It's okay. You won't jump the fence. You don't even bark at people and other animals. 

You are the good dog.

I was out with both of them a little earlier than we usually go out but Dahlia was signaling that it would be nice to go out.  Toffee was nowhere to be seen, which is never an issue. Dahlia did a pee and I was praising her for being so good. She was off leash, came over to get her cookie reward because whenever I say "OH MY GOSH YOU ARE SUCH A GOOD GIRL!" she's like "hell yeah I am. Gimme a cookie." Bringing cookies outside with me to reward her has helped with her coming back when I call, or when I say Hey, No. She will turn and make eye contact and come back to me. She's doing pretty good with that.

Toffee came zooming past us at a thousand miles an hour. I had no idea that girl could book it like that. I saw a woman across the street with her Golden Retriever, so I bent over to leash Dahlia. For as good as she's been, I was wearing flip flops. I wouldn't be able to chase her.

I needed about 1500 steps for the day so I figured, it's the 8pm hour, it is very nice out... let's just knock this out together. Or at least most of it. 

That's when I saw the rabbit. Dahlia saw it too, and I had her on the leash so I pulled tight. The rabbit was looking for a way out of the yard.

And here comes Toffee. 

Rabbit takes off around the front of the house, I tell Toffee no, and Dahlia and I go in pursuit. We ended up circling back to the backyard, where Toffee chased the rabbit under the deck with me yelling at her to stop. I called for Doug. 

I heard the rabbit scream. I heard Toffee snarling. 

I saw her shake the poor stupid rabbit like a stuffed animal. And it was over. Doug came to the back door and I told him what happened, and that Toffee had gone into the bushes on the side of the house toward the front. I brought Dahlia in through the back door while he headed outside. 

With Dahlia safe inside, I went back out the front door and Toffee was cowering in the yard. Doug was assuring her to come inside. She nudged the rabbit with her nose, he told her to leave it, go inside. She listened. She followed me. She got her cookie for coming in.

The rabbit tried to get up and go, but its back must have been broken. I stroked it and apologized. It flopped over onto its side, and breathed hard, then the breaths came farther apart until they stopped. 

Shit, my dog just killed a bunny. Seeing as last night I wondered if she was fast enough (oh boy is she ever) and I wondered what she'd even do if she caught one (uh, now we know) it's kind of sad that we found out so quickly. 

The rabbit scratched her above her left eye. It's a superficial gash but it is long. We put some neosporin on it. We'll watch it. 

I didn't want this today. Heck, I wouldn't want this any fucking day. But there you go. Dogs got that predator/prey instinct. While during the summer last year she was so loving and kind to a baby bird that fell out of the nest, I didn't expect her to be the one to kill a small creature. I thought for sure Dahlia would be the one to do something like this. 

I'm not mad at her. She did what dogs do, even domesticated dogs. And I've watched my neighbor's cat kill birds. Animals are gonna animal. And it is a hard world for small things. 

Going to bed sad. And thinking of the other buns in the yard. I wish they weren't there. I don't want to think about this happening again.

I didn't take a picture of the rabbit. I thought of it, but it just seemed cruel and wrong. 

Digits below.

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours. Indoor and outdoor walk, 10 min. while cooking part of dinner, 12 min. with Dahlia up the street and back. 22 min total/1.06 miles. Needed 1500 steps, did a quick 10 min around the house for .41 miles. 10k+ by bedtime

blood glucose:

10am: 175
5:15pm: 133
10:30pm: 118

food:
coffee/water/tea
10am: phentermine; met+glip
12pm: english muffin w/pb
6pm: met+glip
6:45pm: one chorizo quesadilla w/melted cheddar on 2 small low-carb wraps, sour cream
white wine + diet ginger ale

Bunnies at Night

The dogs always know what time it is. Usually at 10pm, they let me know it is time to go out. It isn't too peopley out there at 10pm, so I feel comfortable letting the big black knucklehead off leash to walk around. Or run around. We do steps together when she is good and tonight I needed about 800 before bed. That's about 6 times around the house. 

When we step out, the dogs make for the holly bush out front. There are two or three bunnies out there, and boy do they take off. And the dogs run for them. It is another good reason to not take her out on the leash because she'll pull me to my death if that's the case.

Dahlia has yet to jump the fence when chasing them, which is a relief. And I feel bad when they are running down the sidewalk. Disturbed from their bunny slumber.

Poor things. 

We've been here four years and we've never had rabbits. So this is new.

My nebby annoying neighbor got up after me today while I was trying to do steps, and I did have Dahlia out on the leash (she ended up chewing through it while I was talking to the neighbor, thanks doofus dog). She was complaining about the brush pile behind our shed. She said she was going to call our property manager, and the homeowner, and complain. She pays dudes starting about 2 or 3 weeks ago and going into December to do the yard. There's a crew out there once or twice a week. She's relentless. 

Lady. We kind of dig the natural thing and we burn those cuttings, once they are dry. There is just a lot there right now because we've been in a red flag warning because of wind for a few weeks. 

She said it attracts rats and snakes. I wanted to say "we need snakes if there are mice and rats, so the snakes can eat them!" but I told her that we'd take care of it. And she continued to kvetch. Too many branches, too many twigs. The vines are growing on the fence. Take the vines down. No, lady - we like the vines they block noise from the street, give us privacy and they're nice. We like them. Not your fence, mind your business.

I also wanted to say that I've seen her fucking cat catch birds and kill them, so keep the stupid thing inside. 

But I didn't. I wrangled the dog. I had to drag her inside since she'd eaten her leash, and she wanted to stay outside but I was ready to go in (really, I was ready to do laps around the house with my dog).. I was relieved and so thankful to God that no dogs or interesting humans or the mailman came down the walk while we were out. 

But tonight at 10pm, the bunnies were the only interesting things. And she has been incredibly responsive if I bring cookies out with me and tell her she's a good girl and I reward her when she does her business and she returns to me when I call. 

My cold was annoying today but not a show stopper. I started the day with no voice but a lot of hot tea helped. My colleague B had scheduled a 4pm meeting for the team today and rescheduled it because both of us were feeling sick with the colds. We joked that I gave it to him, even though he is in St. Louis. 

Managed to make it the whole way through the day and be super productive. 

I am just hoping this doesn't progress further. 

Alright, off to bed. No pictures today but I do have some very nice irises coming up! I'll try and get those tomorrow. 

good night. Digits below. 

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours.  30 min indoor walk/1.27 miles; 10k+ steps by bedtime

blood glucose:

9am: 168
5pm: 123
11pm: 134

food:
coffee/water/tea
9am: phentermine
10am: met+glip
12:30pm: english muffin w/pb
3pm: 2 baby bell cheeses
5pm: met+glip
6pm: 2 nice bowls of leftover potato soup (doug hated it, so I'm trying to eat it and make it gone)
white wine with a lot of ice
9pm: jardiance