New Bedford is the one city I HATE

We got up early this morning (early for me). Linda is usually wide awake at 7:30 at the latest so she goes downstairs to smoke, and play games on her phone, check in at work. I've been sleeping until 9, or a little later. 

But today's mission was to take mom to the Social Security office. 

You can't report the death of a family member to them online, so she needs to go in person. Dad's been gone a month, and she has not yet done this task. Sometimes the funeral home reports stuff to the SSA, but we weren't sure. We reached out to them but didn't hear back. Even if they did, the thing we need to do is set up her survivor benefits. Super important.

Like I said, we thought she had taken care of it. But we found a few other things out (ie: She just stopped paying bills, had a lien on the trailer at some point but that seems to be clear but we don't know, etc etc) that were left undone, so we need to get this ironed out. 

I called her to tell her I was coming to get her at 8:30. Linda was going to work from the hotel and I was going to drive Miss Daisy. 

"I'm not going anywhere today," she says. 

Oh great. Here we go. Miss Obfuscation is playing me. 

"Why. Why are you not going anywhere today?" I asked

"There is a tornado in Rhode Island, and it is coming this way." 

I turned on the news to look and sure enough, Southeastern MA and Rhode Island were getting hammered. Not near us though. Not near us at all. So I tried to talk her into us going because this was all rolling north. 

"It's foggy and I'm not going over that bridge in the fog."

"You won't be driving, I am. I'm okay with it and this is literally the first thing we should have done this week, and this is our last business day here so come on."

No. She said she'd go Monday and one of the ladies from the restaurant would take her. 

Now mind you, the lady from the restaurant on Thursday said she's happy to help "but it isn't my place" to be the person doing these things. Lord, she's right. And here we are ready to do our duty. But we can't get the mule to budge. 

I gave up fighting. Instead, I watched the weather on the news, and drank coffee. I found the form on the SSA website she needed. I emailed it to her address so we could print it out there. I made a list of all the documentation she would need. 

I said "Go with God, little task. You're on your own come Monday." 

We schlepped over to her around 10am, and started digging through more paperwork. It started pouring, but I was still hopeful that we'd get over to the office in Falmouth to do all we needed to do even though this is a Friday in the summer. 

Linda ended up calling the office to double check on paperwork and got a human. So wonderful and helpful. They told her mom's town isn't serviced by the office in Falmouth and that we'd have to talk to the folks at the office in New Bedford. 

Linda called them and they said they'd set up a phone interview/meeting with Shirley, and she wouldn't have to go in person to do her survivor's benefits.

What a relief.

See, my mom. Well, she's special. She hates going places and I'm not sure what ever happened to her but if you even SAY the name "New Bedford" she will flip out. 

"NEW BEDFORD! THAT'S THE CITY I HATE THE MOST!" or "NEW BEDFORD! I HATE NEW BEDFORD!"

Like, Bitch. What'd New Bedford ever do to your ass. 

I like New Bedford. How about I take you there and we go out to lunch! Suck it! You are hanging out in New Bedford like it or not!!!  

Linda assured her that she didn't have to go in person to New Bedford after much yelling about how much she hates New Bedford. It took some convincing for us to let her know for sure no. No. She would not have to go to the city she hates the most. She has an appointment for a call, and they'll call her, and she will know the day, date, time and know to answer the phone instead of ignoring it. And she'll have the documentation she needs and everything will be okay. Without going to New Bedford.

It's become kind of a joke with us. 

When we drive up here, Doug sees the signs for New Bedford and then imitates my mother, yelling all about "that's the one city I hate!"

And then he laughs and laughs. If someone mentions New Bedford on TV, he does it. And laughs and laughs.

It's a bit exhausting. I wish people (aka Doug) would just stop with Shirley vs. New Bedford, but it makes him laugh, and hell, if it doesn't just bring him joy I'll allow it. 

With all the rain and weather, her phone went out a short while later. The driving rain and how much water there was out there probably knocked out some land lines. 

I got to play tech support: Why does the phone not work. All the other Verizon services work, just not the phone line. We called other phone numbers we knew were landlines and their phones worked. She was freaking out about it and I was trying to troubleshoot things and just needed some time to think. And access her Verizon account.

I called customer service and got nowhere with the "assistant" bullshit, and she didn't know her 4 digit pin for authentication. She didn't know her Verizon account number because it is always auto debited from her bank. So okay. Let's find an email to see about a bill payment acknowledgement but she didn't know how to access her email. I access the email, and there are no emails from Verizon about her account payments. Fudge. She's yelling about the dial tone and asking questions and uttering things like "jesus fucking christ I can't believe this bullshit" and interrupting me when I am trying to talk to the auto assistant, so of course it hears her voice and fucks up. 

Then she did a bunch of other shit just frustrated the hell out of me. She was yelling about the dial tone still and testing it constantly. I finally blew up at her because she was not helping, she was annoying the fuck out of me. Just go the fuck away and let me figure this out. Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP. If you just shut up, I'll figure this out.

I was so frustrated because she just wants to play games on her computer and we need her to participate in this. Participate. Work with us. Get off your game and work on all this with us.

Eventually the dial tone came back but the line was staticky and awful. I told her to be patient and give it time. But she was still obsessed with it. 

Fuck it all I don't care. Lunch time. I'm actually hangry at this point.

We went out to lunch, I know she loves this place but I'm sick of it. I want something else. But there I am again eating a giant pile of scallops (I mean, they're pretty damn great). We let the person know at the restaurant that she was all set with the social security appointment, no Falmouth trip and hell... No New Bedford either. 

Linda and I came back to the hotel and took giant naps. My cousin Bill and his wife were nearby and texted to ask if we wanted to have dinner. Hell yes. I want to spend time with not-my-mom.

We had a wonderful time out together talking about parents, his mom is my mom's sister. We had a lot of laughs and it was nice to be out with them. 

When we told them about the whole thing with me blowing up, Laura said "For Zen Chrissie to blow up at her, it must have been bad." 

And yeah, it was. I felt bad. I feel bad. But she's just exhausting me. All she wants to do is play these puzzle games on her computer and we need her to sign a form or check her email because we just triggered a verification code. And she acts like we're poking her with a cattle prod or dragging her down a flight of stairs by her feet and killing her.

They encouraged us to stay with them next time we're up here, but our hotel is 3 minutes from mom's house, and they're about a half hour away. I kind of like being right here. But sure, we'll keep that in mind. Spending time with them is a blast and I love them.

Tomorrow Jess is coming down to hang out with us (yay!) and I think we're having dinner with a Guster friend that we had dinner with this night 1 year ago tonight after OTO 2022. 

Can't wait to see both of them. All told, we got a lot done for/with mom in spite of herself. Still more to do. But hopefully she is poised to finish the things we need her to finish. And then she can play her stupid puzzle games all she wants. 

Here's a picture from last year with Alex when we had dinner. I'm going to check and see if we can go to the same place, and walk on the beach. Now that tornados are over and shit. 

digits

exercise: 11/12 hours of 250 steps. Missed 7pm out at dinner

blood glucose:

8am: 181
6pm: 193
10:30pm: 150

food:

coffee, water
3pm: scallops plate w/beets and coleslaw
5pm: Metformin (forgot to bring it with me to lunch) 
7pm: marinated steak tips and broccoli; white wine
9pm: black cherry seltzers 
10:30pm: club crackers+brie slices