Exist in your feelings

After yesterday's bombshell announcement, I've been watching some of my colleagues handle things very differently. 

One has questioned why a non-profit/not for profit has 26 VP level positions, and how is this even possible. Eliminating a couple of them will not fix the budget deficit to be honest. But that does seem a lot. 

Another said he's watching people handle it with grace, and went straight back to work, some stopped working for the day, and others are just numb and not sure what to do. 

Feelings. Feelings are tough. They are reactionary, sometimes raw and unforgiving. We don't know for a month who is going to be impacted. We can't not work for a whole month, or be paralyzed or numb over this. We all collectively have shit to do. We need to do it. 

Part of me says if you can't you should just go ahead and volunteer right now to be let go, and go find another job. My heart breaks but we can't screw each other over and not work. I lived through that in 2017 when they closed our office. Several people unplugged several days over several months, and my team got stuck holding the shitty end of a stick over and over. "Sorry, we can't fix the thing, all our devs are missing." "Oh, there's a DNS thing? Sorry, the director of technology is at Blue Dragon."

Also, side note, wow, I can't believe Blue Dragon is closed. Not very deep into the pandemic, either. Boom, gone. Great spot. Sadness.

During Black History Month, one of our designers has been sharing these "28 days of radical self care" thoughts on Slack. I think most of them are pointed to the Black community at our work, but there have been some that are very universal. 

Today, he posted one that is indeed universal. 

I've never worked anywhere that folks are encouraged to be in their feelings and treat themselves with love and grace. It's expected that we'll be mad, hurt, confused. 

The key is to not take it out on each other, and to definitely do the work, do our jobs. Do the things this org is supposed to do. 

I really love my co-workers. I have to say. This next month is going to be weird. I just know it. 

Digits below stolen inspirational graphic.

digits 

exercise: 12/12 of 250 steps. Dedicated 10+10 on a pokemon stroll

blood glucose:
9am: 142
4:30pm: 166 (tested 3 times. 107, 177, 166. went with the middle. the glucose monitor is a mystery)
9:45pm: 147

food:
coffee, water
11am: ramekin of mac & cheese w/left over taco meat in it. So good. Really excellent. Could have eaten a whole giant bowl but controlled myself.
12:15: metformin
12:30: large bowl of chicken salad w/walnuts & diced fuji apples
4pm: the rest of the fuji apple left over from lunch.
4:55pm: 🍷🍷🍷I wish they had an icon for white wine.  and no I didn't have 3 glasses. but... probably will by the end of the night.
6pm: 3 italian sausages w/sauce & cheese
7:30pm: Metformin+jardiance
8:30pm: ramekin mixed nuts