First, I am not sure who is looking at the blog lately but I'm getting 2000 views a day, at least. I'm used to 30. As Jerry Seinfeld says "who are these people!?" Leave a comment and say hi.
But someone has repeatedly hit this old blog post from 2011 of a little poem I wrote that I had forgotten about. I'm glad they did, because it was nice to revisit crow and hawk.
Back to regularly scheduled life. I'm completely stressed out. There's lots of stress here at the Casa Mamita. I just want to leave. I really just want to not be here. I feel like I just shouldn't be here. Geoff feels the same.
In the midst of all the Mama Drama, I got a call from Aaron. We haven't heard from him since April so that was a nice distraction while there was yelling and consternation happening in the house. Lots to catch up with on his end of the country. Lots of talk about parents. Lots going on. I asked him not to take so long to call me back. I call him and leave voicemails and he doesn't call back, so after my dad died, I just decided to give him all the sky he needs and he'd call me when ready. Today was the day.
I do have to say the weather here north of Pittsburgh is amazing. Sitting out on the patio is an absolute joy. I'll just sit there and sleep there and stay there.
We had a major ride on the struggle bus for a doctors appointment today. That was hard and difficult and anxiety ridden. And Doug is angry and frustrated. His sister is frustrated and exhausted. At the end of the day an appointment was made, but it is in a week and that is "too long a wait," and not what her doctor wanted, so someone has to call tomorrow at 8:30am and try to get it changed. I'm not sure who that person is.
Eventually, Doug threw us all in the car (including his mom) after everything was said and done, and we went for a ride to an orchard, and we had a lovely time. He wanted a fucking apple pie, but they didn't have any. Damnit. So we took some other back roads and stopped at another orchard, where they had cookies but no pie. His mom had a story or two about the family who own the farm, which was very very interseting. They had amazing tomatoes, so some tomatoes came home with us. And Geoff got cheesey poofs.
He took us all on back roads and byways, where there is no cel coverage or GPS. We got lost. We saw deer. We had to turn around because recent rains had washed a bridge out, and then double back to go another way. Doug's mom commented at how overgrown and wild everything has become in the area (very true), she hadn't driven around there in the longest time and was amazed at the overgrowth. We went by the other house to get the mail and Doug walked around to look at the yard.
There are thoughts and feelings. I won't talk about them.
Then we got back home and there was more frustration and argument over dinner. I tried to help but felt in the way and like a nuisance, so I went and drank hard cider on the patio.
The Steelers are on now, and that's all that matters. This time tomorrow I'm with Guster friends, and we'll have a lovely time, and that's all that matters. Then home. I can't wait to go home.
Here, enjoy some pictures from our happy time out at the orchard. With no pie.
digits
exercise: 11/12 hours of 250 steps. missed 9 am because sleeping
blood glucose:
10am: 206
4pm: 211
9:30pm: 180
food:
coffee, water
1pm: metformin
4pm: protein shake
7pm: avocado w/chicken salad, small tomato and lettuce salad, scoop of peaches & blackberries; metformin+jardiance
8pm: handful of trailmix
hard cider
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