Ennui

 ugh. i feel tired and shitty. Probably has something to do with bad food choices, especially at night, before bed. 

I'd been doing well with food, and I know I have to go in for a follow up blood draw appointment, since ... July. The week my dad died. 

Bracing myself for a bad A1c and other blood work. I've had a couple days recently with my numbers in the 130/140 range, but also numbers over 200. 

There is added complication in that we have not a lot I can eat in house right now that isn't low carb. Geoff bought one loaf of 647 bread and a loaf of sourdough but Doug and Geoff both inhaled the 647 bread for some reason. Each slice of sourdough has 37 grams of carbs, so, even if I have one slice, that is more carbs than I try to have in a whole day. 

But that doesn't stop me from going ahead and having a bowl of mac&cheese for lunch today, my little mental gymnastics justifies it because he put hamburger in it, so yay. Protein! I lie to myself. Hilarious.

Overall, I'm just lacking any sort of energy or interest. In anything, to be honest. I thought I'd call out sick today, or, at least call out to 3pm when there's a meeting I need to go to. But there are things. Many things. And my attention was needed. I got through the day. 

In other news, the NFL season kicks off (hahaha pun intended) tonight. Not really interested in the Lions and I think KC is going to trounce them so it's not exactly a game that holds my interest. I have to make bracelets for people I promised them to, just have to get all my boxes of dumb beads and letters pulled together and get started. Maybe this weekend. 

Sorry to be less than thrilling. Let's aim for more fun tomorrow. Maybe?

digits

exercise: 12/12 hours of 250 steps

blood glucose:

9am: 165
5pm: 168
9:30pm: 182

food:

coffee, water 
11:15: bowl of mac&cheese; metformin
12:15: the rest of the mac&cheese from the pot
6:30pm: 2 pieces of chicken thighs marinaded in soy sauce, ginger, garlic, sesame oil, scallions, splash of oj; broccoli
7pm: metformin+jardiance; vanilla ice cream w/ a whole sliced ripe peach
7:30pm: ramekin of trail mix
White wine
10pm: chocolate chip cookies a la Geoff.