Bad Habits Developing

I realized this morning that we quietly let Doug's dad's passing go by without thinking of it, mentioning it. It's funny how some of my friends have really powerful hard times around yahrzeits (jahrzeit as an alternat spelling).  They get depressed leading up to the memory, they go to the cemetery, they mourn over and over again. 

But we just kind of, go on. And we think of birthdays and we smile. But we don't dwell necessarily on the death day. It's not just another day really, but it is. There's nothing you can do, and you can't change a thing, but. I'm somewhat ashamed I didn't necessarily stop for a beat and think on him.

As I got ready for work this morning it crossed my mind where we were in 2018. Right about now.

 Thankfully I have a blog, and I record things, and talk about things, and I know on February 5th I was house cleaning and then called to rescue Doug and Geoff after the car broke down on the way up there to be with the family. 

And then how Geoff and I came home knowing we'd go back up soon. And we did. 

We did. 

I was going to write today about how I need to change some habits. 

Lately, I can't fall asleep at night, and then in the morning I can't wake up. I've been sleeping until about 8:50. My alarm goes off, and I basically hit snooze 5 times. 10 minute increments. But that's stupid, I should just get up. 

Even more so, I've been resetting the 8am alarm to 9am. I never have meetings in the 9am hour, I just basically read things, catch up on slack, and then go to scrum at 10. Then after scrum, we work. And we work long past 5pm, 6pm, we work until we are kind of just done. 

I haven't been making time for me to go to the gym in the afternoons. I was going to do it today, honest I was. Then my colleague messaged me to say "is there a problem with making [content] in [product] that you know of?" Oh they did a code push yesterday afternoon and nooooooo. No one has reported a problem to us yet. 

"You are going to hate this," he says. And yeah. I did hate it. But by 6pm it was all resolved and I had really no excuse, I could go to the gym. But. I didn't. This basically exhausted me. I didn't even hit my goal of 5k steps for the day. 

I got some very extra toffee cuddle time though and that makes life better. 

digits 

exercise: 12/12 hours of 250 steps.  no dedicated 10. meh

blood glucose:

9am: 202
4:30pm: 182
10pm: 192

food:

coffee, water
10am: protein shake
12:30: large bowl of chicken salad; metformin
6:30pm: mix of ravioli & tortellini in sauce (cheese only) 
7pm: metformin+jardiance