The other day, I mentioned I had feelings about purses, and a lot to write about. Carrie reminded me I should write about it. Lest I forget. In my heart of hearts, "strong letter to follow" will probably be something that goes to the venue. I'm still kind of bent over what we experienced.
I'm not mad at purses. I don't understand giant purses or purses with labels or names or whatever. I'm not a fashion girl. I like utility. I have a couple nice, small bags. Purses only need to hold my phone, my credit card/s and license, possibly my diabetes testing kit, maybe some mints or gum, and that's it. I don't carry makeup, or a hairbrush, or tons of other things.
I'm simple. My purses are like cargo shorts, only with a strap to go over my shoulder diagonally.
We went to see Guster in Orlando, FL and traveled with a friend who has MS. My other friend Sara is always very good at checking the "bag policy" at venues. Especially because she is often bringing 8 yr old Henry. She had a clear ziplock style bag, that fits the requirements for sizing, and a lot of times she is given shit at the gate even though she is within their guidelines (It happened to us in Philly when they wouldn't let her bring her medication into the building. But eventually someone in a supervisory position came over to help and let her in).
Sara notified us that bags couldn't be over a certain size, and you could bring clear bags in, but they couldn't be over a certain size. Small "clutch" sized purses were allowed but who the hell uses a clutch to go to a rock show?
Our friend with MS has to bring a purse with her large enough to contain adult diapers and other medical accouterment. It isn't a backpack. In fact, it's rather compact, small, elegant. She was a little dismayed, but I called the box office day of show to talk to someone to find out what to do.
Now, I'm going to preface this all with I get it. I get it for venues needing to have strict security. I get it for Orlando, home of one of the worst mass shootings in our country's history. I get the need for safety.
Talking to the box office, I explained our friend's situation and the girl said "this is not a problem. When you get to the security, explain to them that you spoke with the box office, and this is an ADA exemption, they'll search the bag, and they will put a band on the strap to indicate it had been searched. You are all set."
Tremendous. So kind. So understanding. The staffer was amazing, and we felt comfortable and confident. At least I did.
Still, my friend went to the box office window in person herself and explained that she just wanted to be sure, just wanted to be sure she was all set. The girl at the window was probably the girl that I spoke with earlier in the day, and she told my friend verbatim what I learned.
We got in line. We walked up to security.
Two women were working the metal detector and gate and one started to scream at my friend. "Ma'am! Your bag is too large to come in here. You need to take it back to your car now!" We were a little astonished, and my friend said she talked to the box office, and ---
"I don't care who you talked to, that bag is too big and it cannot come in!" Again, attempting to tell these women what we were told by the venue, and the one woman would not hear it.
"I have an ADA Exemption," my friend said.
"You have no ADA Exemption, is there ADA equipment in that bag? Right now?" Security yelled.
My friend, feeling incredibly ashamed screamed "Yes. You are supposed to search my bag and you have not searched. If you searched, you'd see."
"I'm not searching your bag," security yelled back, "Show me your equipment."
Now think about how you'd feel right here. First of all, you've been assured by the venue that this was not going to be a problem. Second, some whackjob who doesn't know how to do her job, refuses to search the bag as the policies of the venue state, and is screaming at you to basically whip out your shit for everyone on line to see.
I was about to pull her out of line to say "okay let's go back to the box office and get some help," but my friend took out her bag of medication, her adult diapers, and waved them in the woman's face.
"Is this enough for you? Is this evidence enough for you?" she yelled.
The security girl angrily applied a band to her purse, the band fell off and my friend told her to do it right, the way it was supposed to be done.
We were very angry, this was uncalled for.
See, I personally feel that bag policies are an excuse for security to not do their job. It's lazy. And it is misogynistic. Men can cram a shit ton of crap into pockets in cargo shorts, not get searched and waltz right the fuck in somewhere, but a woman with a purse that is "too big" or not a clear plastic bag (like, so fucking fashionable, right?) is subject to abuse, shame, and embarrassment.
Furthermore, a policy that states you should "take your bag back to your car" is asinine in a world where people take Uber to venues, and don't drive a car. Further, your car gets broken into, your purse gets stolen, and the venue is "not responsible" for items stolen from your vehicle, even though they're the rocket scientists that told you to put your stuff back in your car, if you happened to drive.
Here's a tip for trying to prevent a gunman from coming into a venue. Have Security Work. Search the bags. Search the damn bags. Pat people down. Pull someone with a questionable bag aside, be discrete, search the bag.
Use a flashlight, wear gloves, rifle through my bag. You have my permission. Do it. Don't start screaming that someone doesn't have an ADA Exemption, that you don't care who they talked to at the box office, they are not coming in. End of conversation.
In this case, I am pretty sure the security team doesn't work for the venue. They're a third party partner, and they suck. They need better training. They need any training. They need to be taught how to do security detail. People are coming to the venue to have fun, have a good time, and not be berated and made to feel shame, especially after going through efforts to make sure this kind of thing would not happen.
The following night, we were in Ft. Lauderdale to see the same band. I had my bag with me, because size-wise, it was not too big and I knew it fit their policies.
When I got to security, I unzipped my bag, I had my blood glucose monitor with me because I felt I'd probably want to test a couple hours after dinner and make sure I wasn't 300+ or whatever.
I explained what was in the little black container, and offered to open it to show the guy. He had a flashlight and a little stick, he moved stuff around in my purse and said that it was fine. "My wife has diabetes, I know whats in that little container. You're good."
Quite a difference. No crisis, no shame, actual searching of the bag, quiet and respectful search, actual trained eye and empathetic human.
Shove your bag policy up your ass. I doubt I'll ever be back to your venue.
digits:
exercise: 12/12 hours of 250 steps; no dedicated 10 but lots of movement
blood glucose:
8:30am: 188
5pm: 150
10pm: 161
food:
coffee, water
8:45: one slice of rye bread toast (because it was in the cabinet being sad and lonely) with butter
11:30: chicken salad, left over marinated chicken thighs, mayo.
11:45: metformin
6pm: macaroni & cheese with ground beef (we need a trip to the market) Metformin+Jardiance
7:30pm: mixed nuts; protein shake
9pm: several slices of kerrygold cheddar cheese
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