A Trip to Richmond

Doug and I decided to go away for the weekend. 

We both took vacation days today, we both needed some time, we both needed to not work, and we both needed to ignore work and do something fun. 

We had planned on going away Saturday through today but the forecast for Saturday was a washout, and we decided to just go on Sunday and come back today. And I didn't want to leave poor Geoff in charge of poor Brodie for the better part of three days. So one overnight would be alright.

We decided to go down to Richmond, VA. 

Doug had gone there while he was doing a contract job after getting laid off from his first job here in the DC area. He said Richmond was cool. We had planned on going there a few other times, but he got laid off, we needed to save money, Brodie got sick, and then pandemic. So this was a long time coming.

Like going to West Virginia, Virginia has some laid back rules about travel. Maryland/DC/Virginia are all like one big state, travelling from our house to the Eastern Shore or down the Charlottesville area, or out to Frostburg, we have a big area where travel is allowed without having to do quarantine upon arrival.  

Just wear a mask, and be a good human.

Upon arrival in Richmond the first thing we did was head to the American Civil War Museum. 

We walked around the riverfront area where Browns Island is, and thought about going out on the walk to the other side of the James River, but it was hot and as you can tell by that picture very beautifully sunny. 

Neither of us were prepared for full-on hot sun (me for hydration, DWG for sunburn and a hat). So we poked around a bit, noted that there are kayaks for rent and hell if that wouldn't have been a good thing to do with a dry bag and sunscreen. 

Next visit for sure! 

The museum was really great. A wonderful walk through year by year, campaign by campaign, with side trips of what Juneteenth, field medicine,  and what being a POW was all about. From McClellan getting replaced to Sherman's march to the sea, and all the way to Appomattox and the terms of surrender, it was a multimedia experience with wonderful displays. Not too much, not too long, not too overwhelming, very aware of the Black experiences, as well as the Union and Confederate experiences. 

Walking out I felt like... Jesus what a fucking waste and a mess and how the holy hell does this happen. And are we up against it again? We spent a good amount of time there, feeling feelings and having thoughts of course influenced by what's happening in our world today. 

"Find the cost of freedom, buried in the ground. Mother Earth will swallow you. Lay your body down."

After the museum we did some more walking around the riverfront, but it was still too early to check into the hotel. We drove around and found Poe's Pub down at the Libby Hill Park area. We were ready for some food and water, and beer. Our waitress was delightful. They had Austin Powers on TV. We soaked in the relaxation, and had the best fried oysters we've ever had. Not just because we were hungry. It was a really nice break.

By the time we finished up there, it was check-in time to the hotel. Doug had found us a nice hotel room at  The Berkeley Hotel, in the Shockoe/Capitol district area of the city. We went up, parked, had a nap and headed back out for on-foot exploration. Walking out of the hotel, we headed down to the Canal Walk, and South 14th street, looked at the river, watched kayakers and talked to a fisherman on the bridge. 

I pointed out he had something on the line, he said "that's okay, I'm mostly just out here to enjoy the weather."

Can't blame you, friend. 

We walked around the Main Street Station area, looking for an interesting bar or foodrinkery but nothing grabbed us. So we  headed up Main back towards our hotel. I was feeling kind of beat, ready for some water and a rest. So many places were closed, permanently and because it was Sunday. We were going to go to one place to watch hockey and have late snack and drinks but ... no hockey on the TV. Only Baseball. So we bailed. Fuck that shit, baseball. Pfth. 

We ended up at City Dog which was right on the block as our hotel. Enjoyed water, some beers, hot dogs, the Islanders vs. Flyers, and some great Emo music on the loudspeakers. Wild. Lovely and attentive staff, good conversation with the other patrons about hockey and Paul Giamatti in the VW commercial he's in lately. 

This morning we got up pretty much on time, knowing that we had parked on the street where it was 2 hour parking from 8am to 6pm. Doug figured we had to move the car by 10am to be legal for that 8am to 10am 2 hour period. 

He met the traffic enforcement officer who was literally sitting outside the hotel door, smoking a butt and playing with his phone. Doug said something about being just on time and the guy said he wasn't in a hurry to start working, that the car could stay there until noon.

"Seriously? You're okay with that?" Doug asked.

"Which car is yours? Where you headed?" he asked. Doug said that we were still getting cleaned up, check out was noon, and that we were probably going to grab breakfast next door. 

"Okay yeah, you got my word,  man. You're all set until noon. You do your thing." 

We were all dressed and ready to head out of the area for adventure but knowing we had time, we were happy to take our time, and just walk out and go to Sam Miller's next door to the hotel for breakfast. A place I would rather do dinner at (they weren't open Sunday night) from the looks of the menu and the establishment, but we had tiny but wonderful breakfast sandwiches and another tremendously lovely waitress. 

I didn't get her name but we talked a lot about "getting away," which she knew we were doing. "Where you from?" she asked. I guess they do a big tourist business so she was happy to have customers, and we looked touristy. We told her where we were from and how we just wanted to get away, that we were bored of the couch and living room. 

She said she totally understood, and last month she took herself to Portland, Oregon because her plane ticket was under $150 round trip so she couldn't pass it up. She went from Portland to Bend, and up to the coast to Cannon Beach. She was impressed with our Oregon knowledge, so thank you semester in Oregon in 1988 and Aaron in Astoria. 

We told her about Aaron and asked if she went to Astoria but she didn't make it there. We told her to be sure if she's ever there again to find him. We recommend.

She had a big tattoo on her right arm that said "This too shall pass" which made me smile. I asked her if she knew about OK Go and their wonderful song and two different videos (Rube Goldberg and Marching Band) for the song of the same name. I wrote it down for her and she said she'd for sure check it out. 

She told me that she would have hugged me if it weren't for Covid-19, and how she just shouldn't. I told her I considered that a hug. It was a really lovely time. 

We headed over to the Poe Museum, which Doug had checked into, and Trip Advisor listed that it was open on Mondays. But. It was not. We couldn't walk around the grounds and just look at the property, everything was chained up.

This image is from one of the signs out front, the windows were all boarded up, protected, probably due to the recent riots in Richmond. 

There were so many lovely pieces painted on the signs, but this one really struck me. 

I loved it. I felt it. I needed it. 

The entire area around the Poe Museum was messed up, so many broken windows. A rather depressed area in the first place but my heart was broken for all of the businesses and first floor apartments that had suffered the wrath of the city. 

Because the museum was closed, we decided to go over to the Hollywood Cemetery. 

When Doug was in Richmond last, he came here to walk. Similar to Boston's Mount Auburn Cemetery, it is a garden and tree-rich property with wonderful wandering roads through all the sections. 

There is an enormous CSA (Confederate States of America) soldiers' section with a huge pyramid to their memory. There is a good map, and a beautiful area called the Presidents' Circle where Presidents Tyler and Monroe are buried. Somewhere on the property, not sure where, Jefferson Davis is also buried. I saw information on how "three presidents" were buried here. Not sure I count Jefferson Davis as a president but some documentation does. 

The view of the James River is outstanding, and we sheltered under some trees as a small passing shower visited upon us there. 

The Iron Dog is a feature, guarding the grave of a small girl who died in 1862 but I don't know much more of the history of the dog or the girl. I decided that when I die I want a good dog statue by my grave, protecting me.

After we left the cemetery, we decided to drive over to the Robert E. Lee monument, which is kind of a mess right now, as an understatement of what it is. A focal point for protests in the past several years, I cannot believe it is still standing where it is. 

I'm not a fan of anything "Confederate" in this the year of our lord 2020. It all needs to be taken down. No one will forget who Robert E. Lee is if this statue isn't there. History does not disappear, is not erased, does not vanish. 

But people who have been subjugated and victimized by what other people think is a reminder of "their heritage" every day, there's no need for it. 

I would write a lot more eloquently about my thinking here but I just can't right now. 

It is just time to let it all go and if letting it go means taking these statues down, putting them into museums or storage or whatever, and getting them out of the faces of people who for hundreds of years feel this is a big "fuck you" to them - let's just do that.

When we moved here, I told Doug I was not comfortable moving into a town where Robert E. Lee road/highway/street/avenue or Jefferson Davis road/highway/street/avenue were the main drags. I am barely comfortable living here in the south. I for sure didn't want to live somewhere that I'd have to give someone directions to my house that included "turn left on Jefferson Davis and then merge onto Lee Highway." 

No. 

And standing here today in front of this, the graffitti speaks to years of pain and anger, all arching back to this man, that war, those days, the days before him, and the years since. 

He's no hero. Not to me. I don't feel bad for him for the choices he made with his career in the US Army and how he had to make the horrible choice to leave and come back to Virginia to join the Confederacy to fight for his state. 

He had the chance. He could have said no. But he did not.

I spent a great deal of time thinking about how horribly broken our country was, what it went through, what we're now going through, and how horribly broken we still are. And are things better or no. No.

Richmond, it's a nice city with some serious beauty and wonderful people, but overall, the South is not for me. The longer I'm here, the more I am convinced. 

All that said, I loved my weekend away. I loved not working today. I am dreading actually working tomorrow. but it is what it is. I'm happy to have a job and for the next 4 days will do the hell out of it. 

Augusting

 

It's hard being Brodie, but, Brodie is still being. 

Days go by and I'm still amazed that she's with us and hasn't started exhibiting full signs of shut-down. 

She is hungry. Very hungry. But won't eat her own dog food most of the time. We cook her some people food, she always gets a little ground beef and we put grease on her kibble to make it more appealing but I find she just ignores it. 

She loves to (as seen here) shove her face into plastic containers like yogurt, peanut butter, or sour cream. And she loves salty nuts so I give her almonds when I have snack. 

I made myself breakfast today and she dragged herself over to me with a look of absolute desperation on her face. I said to Doug that it is ridiculous how hungry she is, but won't eat her own food. 

I took her dish down from the box it has been sitting on (we put the food and water up on boxes so she didn't have to bend over and fall face first into them). I took out a scoop of dog food that had bacon grease on it and she wolfed it out of my hands while laying on her side. 

Ah. Standing to eat is part of the problem. I see. 

I scooped out some more and she ate. Doug went and got me a tablespoon, and I fed her from the spoon until half the dish was gone. She ate like she hadn't eaten for days, and truth is, pretty much, she hadn't. 

She drank some water too and then went over to her dog bed and just passed out. That was probably the most taxing thing she could have done. 

Thinking now that our daily routine is going to be spoon feeding the dog. I never thought I'd be spoon feeding my dog. But here we are. 

For the rest of the year, my company is having us stay home and work from away. It's honestly the biggest gift I could have right now, to sit on the floor and spoon feed her. And I'll gladly do it until she just doesn't want to eat anymore. 

Nothing else is going on. Well, lots is but I'm not going to blog about it. I don't write about work. 

Guster is doing 2 shows at a drive in up in New Hampshire today, and I didn't go because I don't feel it is safe to travel out of state.  I'm looking at the pictures in the fan group on facebook, and I miss the band, I miss everyone. I miss live music. So I think I'm just going to put the computer away for the afternoon and not look at the barrage of updates coming from the fans. 

Rabbit, Rabbit

UPDATE: The baby arrived at 10:19pm last night so he is our little bunny for real. Welcome, Howard. Yes. Howard. Don't give him shit.

It is now August. 

I've been pretty happy with how often I am updating, and while there is literally nothing going on, thought I should usher in the month with the well wishing utterance of Rabbit, Rabbit. Allegedly it brings good luck to the family if that's the first thing you say on the first morning of the month. 

This morning, however, that is not what I said. My cel phone rang at 8:15am, as I'm on call for work, so my first utterance was "what the fresh hell is happening, so help me the CMS better not be down, sonofabitch." 

Sorry, Rabbits.

I spent about 2 hours working on the problem with one of my dev team members, and she saved the day. I literally knew I needed divine intervention on this particular one. We have an outsourced dev team, but a lot of times I have to explain things over and over and over - and they say "well we don't know if we want to do that.... perhaps we can load the site into a staging server and run a test..."

no, son. No you don't. Like seriously - I know exactly what you need to do and here's what it is, so please just do it and it doesn't have to be a whole big thing. 

I noticed she was live on slack and could not believe my luck. Reached out to her directly and she understood exactly what I was asking for her to do, and she did it. She was part of our Boston team, now she lives in Vermont, but she's literally the only person I can turn to who will know this legacy code. 

Thank God. Thank you, God. 

Finished the tech support emergency thanks to my amazing colleague and 3 cups of coffee. Then, I made chicken salad, set up some marinade for other chicken for tomorrow, answered helpdesk tickets that were left untouched since I took a half day off yesterday and Josh can only do so much with doing his job and backing me up. 

So my 4 hours off from yesterday, declared personal time, wiped away by this morning's shenanigans. 

That's okay. I'll figure out a way to make up for that.

While I got an early start for the day, Doug slept until 11. I thought about waking him up until I checked the forecast. It said we were supposed to get some serious thunderstorms in the afternoon, and I didn't want for us to be out somewhere and get stuck out in it.  

So I let him sleep. 

He never sleeps in so he obviously needed or wanted it. He's always the early riser, and my nature is to sleep until about 10am if I'm not disturbed. Sometimes that disappoints him, but I have told him he should just come in and wake me up if he wants to do something.

My best friend Aaron and his wife (from the wedding 6 years ago for people who are long term readers, all two of you) are having a baby right now. 

She went into the hospital on Thursday but was having contractions at home all day Wednesday. The doctor had her wait to come in until things were closer. 

They are still there. 

Things are very slowly progressing, and my heart is patiently waiting for updates over here. 

Earlier today, they'd given her an epidural, she was only 6 cm dilated, and in a great deal of pain. 

 

I asked him how he was holding up (since everyone ever asks about the mom I thought I'd ask my boy how he was, being his best man and all back then). 

"I'm holding up. slept on a vinyl couch for 2 nights, almost passed out from when they put in the epidural, but right now I'm rock solid."

This was good to hear. Gotta be rock solid right now. It'll be a long day or so, but. It'll be soon.

He texted me later in the day and said "Her cervix is stout." 

I've never heard that term for a cervix. What does that mean?

So I offered, "perhaps the doctor is just describing her cervix in terms of Pacific Northwest heartiness, or her Norwegian heritage... a stout cervix." 

We went back and forth about her cervix and I finally said "oh my God please do not tell her I'm making fun of her cervix." 

It is funny when someone is going through something you've went through, and you have feelings and advice. My labor with Jess was not progressing until they gave me a shot of a narcotic which helped me calm down, and then within a half hour (after 12 hours of nothing) I was able to get to the start pushing part. 

My hope is that they'll all be all set for August 1st for a birthday. I texted him last night when he updated me that August 1 is a great day to be born. 

So here's to our little rabbit rabbit. May they arrive soon. They're 3 hours behind us so there is plenty of time for this to still happen today. Perhaps they will be our sweet new little Rabbit Rabbit. 

Hoping for an update soon. 

And hey, if not ... August 2nd is a great day to be born too.

Life is Just a Fantasy

"Life is just a fantasy, can you live this fantasy life?"-Aldo Nova

Doug is having a fantasy.

Based on the discussion with his mom in the other entry, he has had it in his mind that he needs a real vacation.

As mentioned, he thought he'd take a week, and go up to help, and that would be his vacation.

"I was gonna vacation in XYZ Township but now I guess I'm not!" he declared loudly after the phone call.

Kind of a good thing because I am way past wanting to take vacation time doing manual labor for others.

She lives close enough that we could leave on a Friday after work, it's still light out by the time we're safely out of the woods and mountains (Western Maryland is scary dark and I'm always worried about breaking down out there in the middle of nowhere). Then we could be home around dinner time on Sunday. Or even take a Monday off. I do not mind that.

But 5 days worth of my blessed vacation time, Lord have mercy, no. So now he's thinking we need to go away. Just go somewhere. And here's his fantasy.

• Fly somewhere. Like... Vegas
• Rent an RV
• Camp in the RV
• Get easy to make foods for ourselves, or take-out on the road in different places
• Stops along the way based on mileages: Reno (I have a friend there and a drive-by Social Distance greeting would be a blessing. Ashland, OR, where we did a semester in college in 1988. Would love to see that place again
• End up in Astoria to see Aaron and Serena and the baby that is due any day now
• Drive to Portland, return the RV, come home

It is a reasonable plan, I think.

A different idea, we can fly into Phoenix, see my aunt and uncle for a couple days, maybe Amy Reb, and then fly to Portland from there, and maximize people time instead of road time.

Doug likes the maximum road time aspect because we won't be exposed to anyone for too too long, just ourselves. I'm more inclined for the people time and just be incredibly safe and clean and careful.

Like, not even stay in my aunt and uncle's house - stay at a hotel away from them. Stay at Aaron's mom's cottage across the street (if she's not there post-baby). Or a hotel. I'm willing to stay at a hotel and be away from them physically. But be there nearby. Do some dishes. Spend time with their daughter as I'm sure this will all be so huge on her. Run to the grocery store. Help like the best man in the wedding is supposed to help with future life events.

Part of me also knows how bad I'll want to snuggle that baby so hard when it gets here. And I'll pretty much keep my distance, though it will break my heart. But I'll survive.

And no matter what we do, we'll be exposed to people. No matter what. But I do know, we need to get away.

I thought going to Pittsburgh would be easier for us too, with Brodie Dog being in her condition.  She's doing somewhat alright, mostly sleeps, poops on her dog bed on the overnight but it is always like super solid and easy to clean up. I can't believe I just admitted to the world that my dog poops in the house - but to be honest, it's like... no big deal. And she doesn't even know she's done it. And sometimes we don't either. She has no urge to let us know she needs to go, she just poops.

She goes out twice a day right now to pee. The only time it is weird is night time when we go to bed, and then she paces in here and falls down... The pacing thing has been a constant for months now. But at least with the living room rug, she gets traction, doesn't fall too hard, and can get back up.

I feel it is kind of unfair to leave Geoff home alone with her to care for her by himself and just deal with this. So I was willing to stay here and have the boys go up and do things for Mom.

A really big trip out west, well, 10 days of us leaving him with her... I'm not sure how well both of them would do.

If it was Jess, I've got no concern that it would all be okay. I have no idea why I trust them more than Geoff. It's just a mom thing, I guess? I don't know. He's not going to hurt her, or get mad at her... maybe I'm just being unreasonable and he'll do great? He did fine with her at the beginning of June when we went away overnight.

But still, this is a lot. Well, not right now. This right here:

(Oh, I just noticed there is a little kibble of doggie food right by her face which makes this even slightly more pathetic, if possible).

I mean, basically this is what she does. She tries to stand up and struggles so the harness is very helpful in getting her up. Most of the time we let her struggle but encourage her and watch her. Her  leg strength is getting worse so if we always help her, it'll deteriorate even faster.

Getting up a few times a day is a big workout.

The hard part is the going up and down the stairs outside to pee.

Down works out alright, holding the harness usually means she gets to the bottom upright. On the way up though she tries to get a running start, and sometimes wipes out 2 steps up. If you're not right there to grab her - she can go straight back down.  I try to stand right behind her and grab her ass, hold her up. She fell so hard the other day, right off the steps and into the flower bed, and I could not get her out. She looks stunned and surprised, and just stays still - it is heartbreaking for me to see.

But I've got some considerations that make my face wrinkle a little bit.

Work-wise, I'm not sure how I'll fit in a full week and maybe a day or two on the opposite sides of a weekend. We're in the midst of a lot. And I totally mean, a lot. It is the most.

I could fit in some work maybe as needed, or emergency help, but with a trip like this through the landscapes and geographies in question, internet may be hard to come by. I know when we went for Aaron's wedding in 2015, getting internet out in Washington state was a real challenge.

Us east coast humans take a lot for granted. The whole no work on vacation is a big consideration for me. And one I feel I am struggling with but I have to leave go of that. I deserve a vacation and work will live without me.

So maybe it'll be okay. I don't know. We'll have to think, and see.

Lease update

We got it all figured out with our property manager and the homeowners.

At the beginning of June, she told us that our lease was up at the end of this month but it isn't. After several back and forths, and some uncomfortable silences on her end, she finally got back to me.

We had signed a lease agreement, but they did not. So we were in the right. They do want to sell, and would like the house on the market by spring, so we have had our lease adjusted to the end of March next year.

Relieved that it worked out, and we were happy to negotiate. I think if we want to cut out early we may be able to, the homeowners would take that well. Since they'd like us maybe to be leaving now.

So, there we go. Resolution to that problem. One less thing for us to think about.

Time to start thinking about getting ready

Doug's mom is buying a condo.

She is moving out of a house she's lived in for about 50 years. She has a lot to go through we understand and appreciate this reality. It's a daunting task. We are sympathetic to the gargantuan effort ahead. Gary has been gone over 2 years, and I'm proud of her for making a big decision that has a lot of emotion tied to it.

Here are the discussions we just had:

Her plan: After closing, I will measure and order furniture and blinds.

Our suggestion: You have 2 more walkthroughs. The walls and windows are actually in. Why don't we come up with for one of them, or the day of the closing, and take the measurements for you. Record them. Give them to you. And you can start shopping for furniture and blinds now.

Her plan: I will bring a few things over one or two boxes at a time.

Our suggestion: Have a couch, a table, a bedroom set delivered for the week of the closing, and bring your coffee maker, a cup, a mug, a place setting, change of clothes. And sleep in your new space. Make it your new space. Make it official. And bring the other things over as you need. Start with this simple step.

Her plan: I am going to put boxes in the car, put things into the boxes (she can't carry more than 5 pounds at a time for medical reasons), drive the car over, take the things out of the boxes one by one.

Our suggestion: We can come up, rent a small U-haul, pack many boxes at once, between Doug, Geoff, Doug's sister/niece/nephew/husband, and maybe Doug's cousins Johnny and Jeff, and I don't know.... a bunch of the other family people, cousins, nieces, nephews and stuff...  move a bunch of things all at once.  (or you could just hire some movers already).

Her plan: I still have so many things to go through, I don't want to start putting things in boxes and have the boxes all get in the way.

Our suggestion: Then don't do that. Go through the things and purge/throw out whatever needs to be jettisoned. The more of that you get done now the better and the less stuff is in the way. (retort: "Oh, I've been doing that. I found this box of pictures and papers from 1967 and there was this picture of Gary, I didn't recognize him, from survival training in Washington State. And .... " 20 minute story ....).

(I guess going through one box and taking 7 hours is the way it's gonna be. And there are thousands of things to go through.

Her thought: I don't know if I want to bring our bedroom set. When we were looking to move before Gary died we were going to buy a new bedroom set.

Our suggestion: Then don't move it! Buy your new one, and keep this one at the old house so if you are there doing a lot of work and you don't feel like driving home you have something to sleep on. Move it later, and put it in the guest room. Or don't. Donate it or something and get a guest bed set. It doesn't have to be fancy. But this bedroom set is really good, solid furniture - just buy a new mattress and box spring for it, it's about time.

Her thought: ....

Our suggestion: Oh fer crikey chrissakes, woman.

I think that the fact she does not have to sell this house in any hurry is part of the problem. There is no fire lit to hasten this along, no date that she has to be gone.

"I need to evaluate what I need, and organize it and take it. Then what I want, and organize it and take it. Then what I don't want, and what to do with it."

My philosophy is you decide what you do not want first. Once things are out of your way, it's easier to see all the other things. Right? If you get rid of all the unwanteds/unneededs, you can then evaluate the phase 1 and phase 2 of moving. The immediate need for life of comfortableness and staying over in the new location, and then the okay this other stuff can come over next, I know what shelf to put this on.

This house will still be full of stuff for maybe 5 more years or something.

I asked Doug what happens if she dies and this house is still full of things, like how do we even deal with it. "If she never moves all the things out and sells the property, you know we're going to inherit all of this. You and your sister are going to inherit not only the property, but the things."

He did not want to talk about it, and it is the kind of thing that gives me hives. So I'm kind of feeling like maybe I'm projecting my sense of urgency on this, that she needs to take care of things sooner than later, and do all the good right things and move on to the next part of her life.

I also thought it kind of wild that we could inherit the house with his sister, and she has a house, but we or Jess or Geoff could move there. That possibility would exist. I wouldn't want to live there the way the house is laid out and some of the things that would need to be fixed up. But, that's something I said to Doug a few months ago. He shrugged his shoulders and said anything is possible.

That's a discussion for another day.

I thought of my friend C's house when he passed. C and her sister and both of their spouses came to the house to do the big clean up. Her brother in law came through and just put everything in bags to throw it all out without going through anything at all. Just pitch it all.

There were a few treasures the girls wanted of their dad's, not a lot, but when you have no true emotional connection to the thing it is as easy for you as cleaning out a fridge before you have to turn it off and open the door.

There is a balance between 7 hours on one box, and complete chucking of all the things.

I'm for sure in the middle but close to the jettison end.

I'm sentimental, will look at the thing and then it's gone unless it is priceless or truly needed. I don't have the same attachment or need to talk about the event in the picture from 1967 for 20 minutes, but I also know that you keep pictures for the most part, and you sort through and throw out the other detritus. Unless you think there's going to be a scrapbook made of these things, it's time to let them go. And also, label everything so you're not putting a pile of pictures on a table at a family reunion on a hot July day asking everyone to pick through and choose the photos they want, photos of people they can't name. No one can name.

It's her life, her plan, and we're here ready and willing to help. But get a move on a little bit. Like, do some things now. Do them. Our willingness to be of service is here for her plan.

One of our running jokes about her is we were all dressed and ready to go somewhere (I think I've written an entry about this) and we are sitting on the couch waiting. She says "Well, it's time to start thinking about getting ready." We all looked at each other like "you've got to be kidding me."

Doug's plan was to go up after the closing, use an air mattress and bring soap and a towel, and stay at the condo location (fuck that, I'm staying at a hotel). And then during the day be down at her house helping. None of this put a box in the car and then put some things in it and drive back and forth. We'll put 20 boxes in 2 cars and drive them up.

Nothing will be in the way in the new house if you pick a not-in-the-way spot to put them in, like the guest room. Start there. Staging Area. Then when it is time to unpack the things. You unpack them.

So on the phone today, she told Doug she doesn't want him to come up in August, but maybe.... late September would be better.

She is thinking about starting to get ready. The rest of us are on the couch fully dressed and she hasn't gotten out of her pyjamas yet.

He got off the phone with her, and he is pissed off. All the way pissed off.

He was in his mind banking on a week off in August to go up and help.

But sometimes his plans and thoughts are obviously not in sync with what others want to do and that's a Doug thing. Dealing with that is hard for him to do. And he just has to accept what she wants.

I have a couple of big fears here.

First is the what happens if we inherit the house 42% full of her old life. But I can't necessarily control that. That would be something different.

Second, Doug's sister lives very close to her and I have a feeling a great burden of things will be placed onto her. I don't want to see that happen.

Doug's father had to do everything for his mom, drove to Ohio 3 days a week to the nursing home where she lived. Took care of all her things, mail, laundry, everything. Periodically, his sister would swoop up into Ohio and bark orders and yell "why is this happening?" "where did this come from?" "who is doing blah blah blahh?" and Gary would have to deal with her intrusions, demands, and then the mess in the wake of her departure. Never got any help, only got criticism.

Doug is not going to be like that, I know.

He is very engaged with his mom, but I don't want for his sister to feel that he is not helping because he or we don't want to. I know in the past he's had to tell her that his offers were summarily rejected, and she's been very surprised. So they need to communicate, and she needs to be the person, I think, to let him know when the need is real.

They don't have that kind of a good communication relationship.

The next several weeks will be interesting, I think.

Hail and Well Met!

I started playing D&D recently, with my friend Matt as DM. It has been about 30 years since I played D&D.

And I'm having a blast.

Matt has a lot of friends in this world, so he found a group of us ready to start playing together, from Florida to Massachusetts to.... me. Some have never played, and others of us are wandering back into it after several decades of not.

Matt and I rolled and created my character together (I like the DM guidance for building a character) and I'm a mixed breed, half-elf (human) and I am a recent graduate of the local Academy to the town where we are based. I have a kind of Hermione Grainger Very Smartness vibe, no street or tested smarts.  I'm incredibly green. Eager to become an adventurer, but man I have no idea what i'm doing.

I named her Rhea Travis, for Rhea Seehorn from "Better Call Saul," and Travis McElroy, our Middlest Brother, and probably my favoritest McElroy.  Watching Rhea play Kim Drexler on "Better Call Saul," who is a fucking badass. And probably one of the best written female characters in recent years. Travis, well "Thank Travis for Travis," is something I sing often. I love him. All aspects of Travis McElroy make me happy. And his playing has been inspirational.

In the first The Adventure Zone, known as the Balance Arc, his character Magnus Burnsides is always all "Magnus Rushes In...." (do not watch if you do not wish to cry) even before the instructions are given for what they're up against.

I wanted to pay homage to my favorite actor right now, thinking Kim as my Elven half,  and probably the most wonderful and brave human D&D character I've known, ever, good old Magnus.

I think I've made a good character and I so far love her. I love being her. She is a little more Lawful Good than I am (she is a trained but not tested cleric and sage healer). And I'm having a lot of fun playing with these new folks.

I should write up my character back story, so I have it. I have a very clear idea of who she is and what she's like.

The town and adventures are actually similar to what the McElroys are doing right now with The Adventure Zone: Graduation. But the focus is not on the academics, more the town itself. Ravens Folly is the town and we have all recently met at a tavern. a disjointed band of folks pulled together by someone who needed help.

Because the Adventure Zone players are into character voices and behaviors, I thought about that a lot and my character likes to yell "Hail and Well Met!" when meeting strangers.

Rhea they are much smarter than they really are - on paper, very smart. In real world, not so much. The first encounter with using Hail and Well Met was with a race that speaks Draconic, so they called this out to them, and Matt had me roll for it - I rolled a 2.

I ended up insulting their grandmother with sexual overtones.

Oops.

Next adventure, she went to whack someone with my mace and yelled Hail and Well Met! but my role to hit the guy missed him completely. In Matt's words, "you whiffed it."

So, "Hail and Well Met, mother fuuuuuuuuuuuucccchhhhhhhhhaaaahhhhhhhhh!" was basically what everyone at the campsite heard as I beefed it.

I ended up bad-assing it by grabbing onto a crossbow bolt lodged in a bad guy's shoulder and making it light up so the camp was well lit and our human rogue could see what they needed to see. It was a very bad ass move. Matt's face lit up when I suggested it was what I wanted to do with my light cantrip.

Our most recent adventure was a cliffhanger, where some undead dudes come out of a room towards us. As we all closed the action, I yelled my signature catch phrase at the skeletons.

Hail and Well Met, indeed. We all had a good laugh at that.

I am having a load of fun with these folks, it is a tremendous respite from the work things.

Watch for more nerdstuffs from yours truly in this manner.

Why am I awake?

I woke up early. I slept through the night soundly. I'm wired. I almost started watching the film version of "Hamilton" but realized it is almost 3 hours long.

Maybe not the best option for viewing tonight.

Normally, I'm out cold by 10:30pm, happy to be asleep. Tonight is something different. I'm wired. I am awake. I'm not interested in media on TV or music. I am just happy to be in the quiet.

Part of me is waiting for Brodie to wake up so I can take her out to pee. But I should just give up on that. She's out cold. I should close my eyes. I should just lay down on the couch, and if she wakes up at 3am then we will go out.

Why am I awake?

Life has been wild and wacky. Time means literally nothing to me but I try and make sure I'm in the work hours mode and I'm "on duty" at normal hours between 9am and 5pm. I'm often working much later. And thinking about work things.

I had a friend tell me the other day that he is honestly afraid for his job. He has nothing to do. Nothing. And he sits at his laptop all day and waits for email. Emails never come.

He's afraid he will be laid off. He is surprised he has not yet been laid off. I told him organize files. Digitize things. Come up with some sort of plan. He has done all that, and his own boss has done things. Things are all done, as we are now months into this, and not days or weeks.

I told him to make sure he's putting money in the bank. Just be patient. If they haven't laid people off yet, they are just hoping things get better by August. September. Just hang in there.

He is a wreck.

I'm busy. I'm busier than I think I've been in a long time. And this is good. It feels like our team is too small, and we need more people. There are days that I work so much. And still have work. I offered to give my friend work. He declined.

And I'm awake.

Tomorrow will come too soon. I have a 10am meeting I need to be on task for. I hope that I can go to sleep, get some sleep, and be up and at'em by 9. We'll see.

And the dog still sleeps. I so very want for her to wake up and go out to pee.

Maybe at 3.

nothing to update

It has been rather quiet. Nothing really to speak of updates wise. I've played DnD a couple times, I've got a lot going on at work but don't want to talk about it.

Brodie continues - we've closed off the living room with a baby gate and she stays in here. I have slept out here a few times, but found it was alright sleeping in my bed, without worrying about her. She sometimes wakes up and paces, but falls down safely and goes back to sleep.

Only a couple of times she's cried out for help. The other night she got her head stuck between the chair and side table trying to get something from back in there, and then couldn't get out. It was comical and not the end of the world.

Each day, I'm happy to wake up to see her, and allow for her to let me know when it is she wants to go out, and she wants to eat, and whatever else she requires.

We ordered delivery on Friday night, it was just Doug and me, and I had a rough week, didn't feel at all like cooking. We even ate at the dining table, with the dog at our feet, and it was bittersweet in a lot of ways.

I wanted Thai food. Doug has been doing a lot of our cooking, and I'm very sick of everything he's making. His Keto recipes are often tomato or chili-related. And I'm longing for other flavors.

So after the rough week, delivery was where it was at.

Our usual Thai place closed in February for kitchen and plumbing work, and they have not opened. Another really good place does not deliver and one of our cars is in the shop, so we were really in need of delivery.

I've been burned by choosing places we've not tried. The last time we ordered out it sucked and I was very sad. I was about to give up when I found a place that not only was open, but they were delivering. The online reviews were pretty great.

Can you really screw up pad thai? Let's find out.

Ordered the food and it arrived 20 minutes early and was outstanding. I thought I might cry. I'll order from there again for sure.

Literally that's the most exciting thing to report.

Oh - I know recently I had mentioned that our lease was maybe up/expiring. My property manager negotiated with the seller that we can get a lease extension to March 2021. Turns out, we signed our lease to July 2021, but they didn't.

So they would like to put the house on the market in the spring. And we're happy to stay here and not have to move until then.

It was my property manager's responsibility to make sure all the buttons were buttoned up, and she admittedly blew it.

I'm happy that it all worked out. I do not want to be looking for a place right now.

I always look at Zillow for house rentals, I'm like a bad girlfriend with a wandering eye. Got a good boyfriend, I don't need to stray... but... look at this yard.

We love living here, it is a great house. It has its issues but on the whole, this is a fantastic little neighborhood, and I'm just happy and content. I wouldn't see myself here in this house forever, but for the right now, it is just right.

My former boss has to move from her place by the end of August. She needs to try and keep her son in his middle school, and our neighborhood actually is part of that school district location. She and her little one came by today after looking at a place literally around the corner, and we had just the nicest visit. I had bubbles on the porch from the birthday party back in June, and her son loved blowing bubbles. He loves Brodie, but she was very very asleep inside, so we ate cookies, drank lemonade, and just had a nice visit.

It would be nice if she was around the corner. I would love to be able to have them stop by or me stop by there, and just have visits and fun.

And then we'll move. Who knows where to.

In the meantime, bubbles on the front porch, shrimp on the grill.

My friend R's son calls grilling "fire food," so I laughed a little as I made these fantastic shrimp skewers on the grill tonight. Fire food indeed. And they were amazingly delicious.

Pupdate

We survived the night! Here's our girl wearing her fancy new shoulder harness, fast asleep.

Geoff got home from work, and as I thought, Brodie woke up to see him.

We all three went outside. I showed Geoff how the harness works well with helping her down the stairs, and is a good rescue for if she wipes out on the way back up.

Surprisingly, she made it up the stairs without help. Geoff was astonished. She sometimes gets a running start - and if you're not right there to either put hands under her bum or grab the collar when she wipes out, she can tumble down very easily, and then she wants nothing to do with going up the steps.

We came in, Geoff got a snack and a beer. Some nights he watches wrestling when he gets home and last night was one of those nights. He takes our living room chair right up in front of the TV, and puts the sound on 2 so it is just barely audible. Doug and I are both usually asleep, and our bedroom is right off the living room, so he doesn't want to disturb us.

It's all rather thoughtful.

Since I was planning on sleeping on the couch last night, just to make sure B was gonna be okay, he was a little put off by that. Wrastlin' and all. Don't want to share it with your mom. I get it.

But I told him to watch, I wouldn't ask a bunch of questions or make any commentary on his show. Doug makes fun of him for watching wrestling, but I really don't care. Have a fandom. Shit, I sure as hell have some.

 He said it is over two hours and won't be done until after 2:30am, but I told him I was awake, and I was writing blog entries, so yeah - go ahead. Watch. I don't care. Have fun.

I liked Chris Jericho's Maple Leaf jacket for Canada Day (even if I didn't quite recognize Chris Jericho). Made me think of Don Cherry and his Hockey Night in Canada suits! So even though I don't know anything that's going on with wrestling, I at least knew him.  Geoff and I enjoyed Private Party as the tag team contestants to watch.

Maybe I know slightly more than I am admitting. Hmmm.

Geoff went downstairs and Brodie was already fast asleep. I was anticipating she'd get up to do her walk abouts, but she didn't so I shut the lights and got comfy. She slept through the night, and at 7am I heard Doug wake up and go in the kitchen, and she started eating some food. We made an almost solid 5 hours of sleep! I felt pretty well rested, she and I went outside where it was already blazing hot.

So this was good. I may sleep in my own bed tonight, and let her be in here solo. She is using her bed, she has food and water. She has not tried to tip over the baby gate. I think she'll be alright on her own.

I hope she'll be alright on her own. We shall see.