Halloweeners

My mother in law always called Trick or Treaters "Halloweeners," and I've forever found that endearing.  It makes me laugh, as I think of her not being home to give out candy this year as she's recovering in hospital. 

Thinking on you, Bon.

At 11 this morning, Geoff had put all the candy into the giant stock pot we use to hand out goodies to the halloweeners.

He was ready.

Today is also the day his former mama gave Phineas his birthdate. 

When she adopted him, she and her partner had no idea how old he was, they only had an approximation of a date. So they picked Halloween. I knew I would feel a little sad today thinking of him, and it didn't help that his old Vet's office sent out a happy birthday email to him. When we adopted him, she updated the mailing/email records and yeah. 

Here's two years ago, waiting for kids so he can sniff them.

It's kinda cold out this year, very unlike years past like 2018 when I was giving out candy on the porch in bare feet dressed as Linda Belcher from Bob's Burgers. yelling "Allllriiiiiiiight, Halloweenahs!" and drinking red wine from a glass. 

The parents all loved it - the kids were slightly confused but I was totally in character "ohhhhhhh, look at you, little spidey, spidahman, alllriiiiiight!" 

Usually we set the pit out, as you can see from this picture.  We get our lawn chairs, we welcome the haloweeners and their parents. We crank spooky music out of the windows. We have beers or ciders for the grown ups. We don't go bananas, we just make it ... fun. Fun is important. 

This year I was not feeling like getting it all worked up. With Doug out of town, and me feeling kinda worn out, to be honest, I just opened the gate and turned on the porch light. There were about 20 kids. A lot less than the past. 

It's okay, it's better than zero kids. 

Harry Potter/Hogwars is still really popular. 

We had one girl dressed up as a taco. I asked her if she knew it was Tuesday for Taco Tuesday and she and her friends laughed hysterically. 

I read an article about towns that ban older kids from Trick or Treating, kids older than 12. That's insane. 12 is like the BEST because you can go out with just your friends. Kids should be allowed to have some damn fun in this dumpster fire of a society. I don't care if they're 19, come up on the porch, say "Trick or Treat" or "Happy Halloween," and say thank you - you got my blessing. 

Suck it if you think otherwise. 

So endeth the lesson. 

I think next year, as long as the weather cooperates, we'll return us to our normal shenanigans. And who knows. Maybe we'll have a dog who likes to sniff the children. Maybe he'll like other dogs too? 

Then again who knows what'll be going on this time next year.  I have no idea. I didn't expect this year to be like this, ya know?

Sigh. 

Anyway. Geoff and I coordinated accidentally for trick or treat time. I wore my fave Halloween shirt and Geoff put on his safety orange Carnifex t-shirt so we both came into the living room ready to welcome the weenies and laughed. I told him we needed a picture. 

Now someone tell me how I'm going to resist all this candy sitting here next to my face. 

Digits below. I suck at selfies.

digits 

exercise:  11/12 hours of 250 steps.  Somehow missed 9am because i was distracted by work.
Dedicated 15. 

blood glucose:

10am: 191
4:30pm: 160
9:30pm: 190 

food:

coffee, water
11:30am: turkey & gouda on 647 bread with bacon; metformin
2:30pm: 2good yogurt
6pm: metformin+jardiance. Beef Stroganoff w/ some egg noodles; a second bowl of beef stroganoff (I ate doug's portion) 
white wine

More More More Buy More!

I bought a really nice urn for my dad on Etsy at the end of September. Now Etsy wants me to buy more urns. 

"Oh we see you bought only one urn. You may also like THESE urns! Buy them! Buy all the urns! For all the people who are going to be dead any second now. Twenty of them!"

Algorithms are weird. Whether it is boots that I purchased, or Mrs. Meyers Hand Soap (radish is my favorite), I get continued ads and offers to buy more. 

Or, more of the same thing from a different manufacturer. Oh no, you don't mean to be searching for flowers from the local florist! You want this CALIFORNIA BASED florist! Order from us! 

No dude, no. 

I'm getting to the point where I'm so done with shopping online. I don't want companies to know, grow, and monetize a "relationship" with me, I just want to wash my hands. I'll happily forgo the 20% discount to NOT give you my email address. 

I don't need 20 urns. 

Anyway. Kind of disgruntled that anytime I try to use social media all I'm getting are ads. Makes me want to quit the internet. 

Today was a pretty good day. I didn't sleep well, I woke up exactly at the time that Doug would be (hopefully? probably?) getting into the car with his mom to get to the hospital for her surgery. I got up, went to the bathroom, sat on the bed, prayed for her. Prayed for her doctors.

Prayed for Doug. Prayed for his sister. 

Then I could not fall back to sleep for 3 hours. When I did wake up, 2 minutes before my alarm was supposed to go off, I basically decided to take some sick hours, and start working at noon. 

I have one thing I have to finish, but I am going to push it to tomorrow, and pray I get it done. Lots of praying it seems, eh? 

I was going to go for a walk today around 4:30pm, but it started pouring, and got super cold. I'm kind of disappointed in the weather. This year will be the first "cold" halloween we've had. And no dog. And I don't think I'm going to put the bonfire in the front yard. I'm just going to open the gate, turn on the porch light, and hand out the candy. 

Not feeling in the "spirit" of things as it were. 

Anyway. I'm boring tonight. No picture due to the rain and all. digits, below. 

digits 

exercise:  12/12 hours of 250 steps. Dedicated 10 inside, and extra steps each hour. 

blood glucose:

8:45am: 188
4:30pm: 164
9:30pm: 202 (too close to eating, should have had some distance between dinner and checking.

food:

coffee, water 
noon: 2 egg omelet w/wilted greens & cheddar cheese. Metformin
4:30pm: trail mix
7:30pm: bowl of beef stew a la Geoff, with mushrooms, onions, carrots. Slice of garlic toast; metformin+jardiance
white wine

Semi-Alone Again

Doug left for his mom's around 11:30am today. The intention was to leave "super early" but that didn't happen, or 11:30 is super early, maybe. 

I woke up before 8 and thought it was way too early to be awake on a cloudy Sunday morning. I figured he'd wake up in the next hour, make a lot of noise, continue his packing and organizing, and I'd wake up. But he didn't start making noise until about 10:15, and that's what woke me.

I'm going to miss him a lot. We didn't do anything fun yesterday, like I'd hoped. Just laundry, cleaning, and searching for his coats. 

We took our own walks yesterday and he said it makes him sad that I don't go with him. I said I'll just slow you down, and you go too far, so I won't enjoy that. If you slow down and walk at my pace, it'd be nice but I don't want you to do that if this is your actual factual exercise. I should get better at walking as fast as he does. 

Back in Massachusetts, we'd go to the gym, and go on the treadmills next to each other. He'd do 3 miles to my 1.5 but we'd be together. Maybe I should suggest that again. It's not the same as a walk outside together but. It's something. 

He thinks he'll be up at mom's for 2 weeks, like I was at my mom's for 2 weeks. 

The good thing is Geoff is here with me. I sent him grocery shopping today, and while he was gone, I cleaned and reorganized the fridge. 

This was a little project I had on my mind, but my intention was just to clean it out so Geoff could bring home groceries. I started organizing things and looked at the glass shelving and said "oh jebus. oh hell no." 

So I took everything out, I cleaned all the shelves. The bottom of the refrigerator was kind of super gross, so I soaked it, and used a magic eraser, and it still isn't fully cleaned. But it is 90% better than it was without me using some sort of scraping tool. I swear. How does this happen? 

Sigh. 

I kind of wish that the boys had done some cleaning while I was gone but I've learned to apply the quote from Gin Blossoms "If you don't expect too much from me, you might not be let down." 

I think during the day tomorrow, it's gonna be vacuum time which may most likely will turn into ... full blown mopping. My meeting schedule is super light, and I'll want to keep my brain and hands busy. 

Lin and I talked for like two hours tonight while I could have been doing things but I'm shagged out tired. Best part was when I heard her stomach growl through the mic on her headphones and we laughed. 

Hilarious. 

Well kids, I'm super beat. Here's a picture of the plants on the front step, and my confused rhododendron. 

digits 

exercise:  11/12 hours of 250 steps. Slept through 9am. 10 min Pokemon walk, came home right as it started to pour.

blood glucose:

10:15am: 188
5pm: 216
11:30pm: 198

food:

coffee, water 
11:15am: metformin
3:30pm: 647 english muffin with peanut butter (i should have eaten better during the day)
white wine (earned after cleaning that fridge)
6pm: shells, sauce & meat
8:30pm: protein shake

Clean, Organize, Mend

I put a lot of cleaning and organizing off in life, especially in the basement. Geoff has a tendency to look for things, even if he doesn't know what he's looking for... he's just nosy. 

When we lived in our brown house, he was young and nosy, and he went to the attic and rifled went through boxes of his & Jess' childhood shit, unpacked them, and left them unpacked. Mice got into the boxes, ate the stuffed animals, pissed and shat all over the baby books. I discovered all of this while I was packing for us to move after losing the house. 

It was August, so hot, so very hot, and I sat on the floor in the very unfinished attic (Doug and I always talked about finishing half of it for storage) and I cried. I held a stuffed Peter Rabbit that was one of Jess' first gifts, and just wept openly over the mouse piss stench and missing face (they ate its FACE). 

Then I threw everything out the attic window to the driveway below, so I could bag it up for the trash. 

Doug is going to Pittsburgh and is looking for 2 different winter jackets he cannot locate. He started in on this last year, when they went to Kentucky on their trip, and was mad about it then but came home and forgot about it. Now he wants the jackets. At least one of them. They are both great Carhartt jackets, one has a hood, one does not. Fleece lined. Made for winters in the north, not for winters here.

We can't find them. Anywhere.

We have this whole room in the basement for storage. It could be its own office, or another bedroom if we needed it. I wanted floor to ceiling shelves put in but we never got to it. The boxes have all been sitting on the floor. 

And of course, at some point Geoff opened things. Doug describes his unpacking skills as "feral raccoon looking for jar of mostly empty peanut butter." 

What is mostly down there is boxes of books. I asked him what was he thinking, and he told me he is sometimes looking for something to read. Everything is labeled, so why'd you open the Winter Camping Boxes. Why'd you open the FRAGILE! GLASS STORAGE Boxes.

Trust me, dude, all the good worth-reading books are on shelves in the basement, or up here in the living room. What's in the boxes is just not interesting but we keep them, for whatever reason. Sentimentality. Maybe we'll have more shelves someday for all the books. But Geoff thinks there may be something in there worth reading. But there isn't. Trust me.

Today I decided to go down to this storage room and rifle through boxes, and see if I can't find Doug's coat/s. 

No luck.

But everything is packed and reorganized, and Geoff has been put on notice not to open a single box.

I also found tons of empty boxes in the room. And in the big area in the basement that is the same size as our living room, there are more boxes (that Geoff went through) and I'm going to pack and reorganize all of that, to put things into the storage room. 

Geoff also noted that due to my reorganizing, there is now enough space in there for him to set up his drum set. 

Well yeah, but. No. He has 2 drum sets, the original one he got one year for Christmas and a second one that a friend of mine was divesting herself of when she and her husband moved into a very small condo. So we have a lot of parts for two kits and I sure don't know what goes together. We have a double bass pedal. We have a brand new seat that I got for him right before we moved to Maryland. His cymbals are trashed from him beating the shit out of them (rockstar that he is). He probably needs some solid wood platform for everything to stand on since the basement is carpeted. 

Hilariously, though, as I reorganized everything - I put the drums all the way in the back corner and built a fortress of boxes of books and glass and winter camping gear all around them. 

Maybe that was some sort of subliminal messaging to myself, bury them and we won't have to think about it. 

We can dig it all out, and get things assembled for him. 

Next big project is the big room. Doug's office technically is down there, and he said it is so messy it depresses him. While he's out of town, I'll go down and take care of getting things more organized. 

He did find a heavy coat that needed a button, and a button down shirt that is burnt orange that he hasn't worn forever because two buttons came off. 

He reminded me I keep offering to fix his things, so he found my sewing kit (which is a mess and needs to be reorganized also) and brought me the two items. I got the buttons mended and so he's good to go with those. The orange shirt is super good for this time of year with all the trees matching him. 

Here is a picture from the sewing session, and one that he took while he was out walking (while I was sewing). Things are very orange today, I guess.

digits 

exercise:  12/12 hours of 250 steps. half hour walk

blood glucose:

9am: 180
4:30pm: 175
11pm: 271

food:

coffee, water 
11am: metformin
1:45pm: 647 English Muffin w/pb
4:30: 1 regular sized reese's peanut butter cup
6:30pm: leftover chinese food w/a little white rice; metformin+jardiance
7:30pm: large slice of chocolate cake; white wine

An Almost Dog

Earlier today, Doug came up to show me listing for a dog up for adoption, 5 miles from us. 

Oh my gosh. No are you honestly looking for a dog right now, dude?

The dog's owner said she had to give him up because the landlord said so. There were cute pictures of them together. Doug reached out to her. She immediately did weird things, said she didn't want to work through the adoption website but directly. Doug suggested we meet up in person, he wanted to meet the dog before adopting the dog or even before talking about money.  

She didn't show up when we'd agreed to meet, she texted to say she was going to be working through her vet to make arrangements, and Doug was not not buying any of it. "Are you coming to the meetup?" he asked. She said she wanted him to bring money. 

We told her that we were all set. No thank you. 

She didn't even reply. 

While we were sitting in the park, waiting for her to show up to introduce us the dog so we could meet him and decide, Doug explained the situation to Geoff. He said "Does that sound sus to you?" Yeah buddy - it is pretty damn sus, and I had no good feelings about it once she said she didn't want to work through the adoption website.

We opted to go out to dinner, and headed up the street to Brew Belly. We hadn't been there in about a year, so it was a good choice for us to go and eat, have a couple beers, and talk about dogs. 

So this wasn't a good dog for us. This actually is not a good time. We talked about how it'd be weird for Doug to go to see his Mom on Sunday and not get to bond with a new pet. 

I'm not really ready for a new dog, so this is a good thing. Maybe soon. We'll see. 

In the meantime, here's Geoff, my Blonde Ale. Digits below, and I kind of didn't behave food-wise because I'm mad about the bloodwork, but tomorrow is another day and we'll begin again.

digits 

exercise:  11/12 hours of 250 steps.  Somehow managed to miss 9am?

blood glucose:

9:30am: 190
5:15pm: 184
10:30pm: 227

food:

coffee, water 
11:15am: metformin
12:15pm: grilled havarti, turkey, avocado on 2 slices sourdough bread
6:30pm: Cheesesteak, some fries, a couple beers at Brewbelly
8:30pm: metformin+jardiance
9:30pm: 2 slices of cheesecake, beer

Home Happy

I was happy to be home until I saw the kitchen and the bathroom were a mess. 

I will not bitch and moan about the mess. I expressed my displeasure to the boys and set to work on cleaning this morning. A lot more needs to be done. Doug and Geoff did a bunch of yard work, which was good, I was happy for that. So my expression of displeasure was ... mitigated. But. Still, I was displeased.

This afternoon, Doug needed to get his bloodwork done, and so did I. It had been since March so time to check the A1c. I just got the results. My doctor kept gently encouraging me and called while I was in Massachusetts. So I promised her I would go get it done.

Well, sportsfans. The A1c went up. 

Y'all. 

It is 7.6, up from 7.3 back in March. 

I'm wicked pissed. You all see how I eat. Compared to some diabetics who eat a whole pie or ice cream every day, I sure the hell am not. I know here and there I can for sure do better but shit.

Doug said it is exercise that I'm lacking, that the "dedicated 10" isn't enough. And the wine isn't helping, maybe. Most likely.

I left Team Triscuit. While hanging out with Lin and C the other night, I didn't eat (more than a couple of) the beautiful chocolate covered cashews, and I rejected the loving offer of popcorn when C nuked some (and burned some! and I was afraid the smoke detectors in the hotel room were going to go off and water would come squirting out all over everything).

I felt bad rejecting such delightful snacks, but, I'm trying hard to make this work. And I'm trying to be disciplined.

sigh. 

I mean, I could join a gym, right? I used to go to one in Massachusetts, maybe I join again. I could stop using excuses like "it's too fucking hot out, I'll walk inside" maybe. I have raised my activity but it isn't "sugar burning" activity. 

Meh. 

Anyway. 

No picture today, I wanted to take a shot of the plant Doug's mom sent him home with, but it got dark out before I could get out there to do so. Will try and remember in the morning. 

Digits below.

digits

exercise:  11/12 hours of 250 steps. Missed 8pm because I stopped steps to check email from the doctor's office.

blood glucose:

9:30am: 170
4:30pm: 146
9pm: 268 (chinese food, etc)

food:

coffee, water 
11am: metformin
12pm: large fuji apple w/peanutbutter
6:30pm: metformin+jardiance
7pm: a lot of chinese food. Egg roll, curry shrimp, general gao chicken, mongolian beef, a scoop of fried rice, 3 peking ravioli

white wine

We're on our way home

C came over the house after checking out of the hotel this morning and brought the dogs. My mom was thrilled to have them over. It really warmed my heart watching her interact with the puppy, made me miss all of the dogs I've brought to her or had her visit over all the years. It was fun, and funny, and really a good time. 

Thank you C for bringing the "woo woos" over for her.

Reality hit around 12:30 as I realized I needed to get ready to go.

The amount of stuff I brought with on the way up with me was disorganized, thrown in the car in  canvas tote bags as if I'd be driving back home. Not flying.  

Luckily mom has an extra suitcase that is really big and awesome. Got 90% of my stuff packed in her big suitcase and my regular red duffel. 

I left a few things like my pillow and my winter coat. No need for those right now. It is going to be 80 degrees this weekend. I can get the coat later, and I have something else I can wear if push comes to shove.

When Jess went to Toronto last week, they got me gifties. A nice tote from St. Lawrence Market, magnets, and seltzers. I couldn't bring the seltzers on the plane, so there is now a Chrissie Corner in the fridge. Craft beer, yogurt, hummus, seltzers. All my jam. Something to look forward to when I go back. Also Linda is welcome to my hard seltzers.

Linda dropped me at the airport and it was very early. I found a little foodrinkery, and did some work for an hour and a half. Actual work. Proud of myself. Scheduled meetings, answered tickets, looked at something for QA. Then headed to the gate! 

Doug and Geoff came to pick me up, and we went out to dinner in Columbia at a place Geoff picked. 

I'm happy to be home in my house. Doug put one of my plants outside because he said it was filled with ants, so I think I need to do some serious repotting. When he was up at his mom's she made him take a plant that she said was not going to overwinter in her garage successfully. It is fantastic, beautiful, and I'm hoping that over the winter it stays in our basement happily, and we can get it growing in the spring here. 

The kitchen looks a mess, my plants need to be watered, but oh man, am I happy to be home right now. 

Here are some pics C sent me. 

digits

exercise:  11/12 hours of 250 steps.  Missed 6pm on the airplane.

blood glucose:

8am: 161
n/apm: n/a
11pm: 230

food:

coffee, water 
11am: 2 good yogurt, metformin
4pm: 3 glasses pinot grigio, clam chowder, grilled cheese & bacon
8pm: big salad w/crispy chicken, 2 beers; metformin+jardiance
1 beer at home

Bracelet update

Took mom to lunch today because she was feeling super up to it. And she got to wear her fancy new bracelets. 

She couldn't wait to show them off to all her pals at the bar. She had to explain "Swirl" but everyone knew what Trouble was all about. 

Tuesdays is when these 3 women from Brockton come down to the joint, and mom wanted to see them. So I told her I'd take lunch, and bring her over. She was in her glory. Lots of attention and chatting, this person and that person.  It was a hoot. Linda came with us, and we had a time. 

Was so happy to have Linda join us too. She is staying at the hotel, and was working today. Awesome to have a time together at mom's familiar.

C had messaged me that she was having some rough times and I asked her to come on down. I couldn't imagine not seeing her during this whole two week Momstravaganza, so she did. She packed up 2 dogs, and a bag of stuff, and made a reservation at the hotel. She probably could have just stayed with Linz but they probably would have talked all night long! 

We were lazy and went to The 9s instead of going somewhere else. A lot of stuff in town is closed on Monday and Tuesday in the "off" season, and last week the one open place was jam packed, so I didn't want to risk a trip to come up with nothing. 

And I kind of didn't want to head back to mom's familiar where we had lunch! I was kind of actually super full still from lunch but had to eat. 

Lin and C have a lot in common - running their own businesses (well, Linda doesn't own the business she works for, but does all that money nonsense). It was interesting to listen to them compare notes. 

We went back to C's hotel room after getting the dogs from the car, where they were content just chilling while we ate. We took them for a little pee/poo sesh, and hung out in the room talking until 10. 

Getting back to mom's I was surprised to see her bedroom light still on. I pondered, oh crap what if she fell. Or whatever. 

When I came in she was putting the coffee together. I was surprised, since I've been doing that. She ground more beans, she did the dishes I'd left in the sink. She made a comment that could be taken as "snide" if one heard it this way: "I figured I'd do this, because it was getting so late and you weren't back yet, and I figured you wouldn't want to do this or you'd forget, so I just went ahead and did it."

Oh, okay. Like... I've forgotten to set up the coffee the night before .... ever? I let it slide but laughed. Well look at you go, lady. Look at you do the things. 

Must be them powerful bracelets. 

Anyway, today was a long day, started early with a propane delivery at 7:30am and I just basically started working. Aside from lunch it was non-stop. Luckily tomorrow there's a staff meeting, I can listen and pack/organize and be ready to go. 

Hard to imagine tomorrow at this time I'm home. Seems inconceivable. 

Here's a pic of C's lil' Frenchie! Digits below!

digits

exercise:  12/12 hours of 250 steps. No real dedicated 10 but got the dogs out a couple times w/C and Linda for extra steppies

blood glucose:

8am: 224
4:45pm: 181
10:30pm: 190

food:

coffee, water 
8:30am: protein shake
noon: metformin
12:30: chicken sandwich, tomato, lettuce, american cheese, onion rings, mayo, ketchup
6pm (ish?): Popcorn, some pretzel bites in spicy cheese, large caesar salad w/steak tips (I guess 3 steak tips is ... plural steak tips but wow, 99 restaurant, that's .... not very generous?); Very Large Beer. Metformin+jardiance
through the evening: 3 truly seltzers, some chocolate covered cashews and almonds, a little bit of popcorn

The Island of Misfit Toys

Yesterday after the adventure errands, I asked mom if she wanted to go to her foodrinkery for lunch. It was early enough that she could have a sandwich there and not ruin dinner's happenings. She said she was tired. She made a PBJ sandwich, and headed to take a nap. 

I really wanted a fried chicken sandwich with lots of mayo and tomato (yum!), so I headed over to the bar solo. I talked to Jess on the phone for a while in the parking lot as they were on their way back to Massachusetts from a road trip to Canada. They thought maybe it'd be a good idea to stop here instead of go straight home. Enthusiastically, I signed off on that.  Even though I knew this was kind of out of the way, I longed for some Jess time. I ran into mom's (well, our) friend Donna and her husband Bert (my fake step-dad, long story) and we chatted for a bit. I know that they meet up with a bunch of friends there all the time, they get several seats pulled together around the round high-tops and have a fête. We walked in together, I sat at the bar, they sat at their table, and their friend group started to pour in. 

Eventually, Donna said to me "what are you doing over there alone, come sit with us." 

I told her I didn't want to crash the party and their friend time. She told me that's crap, get over here. 

I'm naturally friendly but, I don't know. 

Sometimes I'm like my dad. 

I just want to watch football, drink a beer, and eat a sammitch, and go home. Yesterday was kind of a day like that. After that little white haired lady told me she loved me, I had feelings. 

But I came over on her urging. The gathering included another Donna (Donna 2)  and her husband, pictured here, and a few other people that I didn't know their names.

When they call ahead to reserve the group table, the bartender puts a note on the setup. 

He welcomed me to the Island of Misfit Toys. It warmed my heart. Thank you.

It was nice to sit with people, and I did what my friend C says her sister does (it's her magic power) in that I only asked questions about them and spoke very little of myself. So you just moved back here from Alabama. What happened, why did you not like it? Tell me about the house you're renting. Oh! You're closing on a new little place on the beach over here! Amazing. Grandchildren! Amazing. Tell me about them. Wow! I bet apple picking was so fun with those littles...

I didn't have to talk about myself at all. They know all about me from mom's journey, and they know mom. I just soaked in all the details on them. Donna 1 and Donna 2 told me about a recent trip to Foxwoods, and Donna 2's husband was totally into the Pats game. 

The Pats game actually started to get good and exciting. Everyone was wondering - would they blow it! Would the Bills come back and crush them!? Somehow no! The Patriots scored and took the lead. Everyone in the bar went bananas. 

Let me tell you, it's been a very long time since I've been sitting in a bar with likeminded sports fans. And this was a lot of fun.

Since moving to DC, I haven't been that into the sportsballs, and many of you know I'm a fan of the sportsballs. I just looked around the room, feeling the joy. I got some hi fives, stood up at the bar behind those seated, just so I could be closer to the TV to watch. And boy did we cheer.

My plan after my lunch was to go to Lowes and return the suction grip dealies that don't stay stuck to the tub, and get a few other things over in that neighborhood. 

Instead, I went back to mom's took a little 6pm snooze. A well deserved snooze.

I heated her up some pasta and meat sauce for her dinner at 7. 

Jess confirmed they'd be arriving around 9:30, which to mom is way past her bedtime. 

But she stayed up just to say hi. How loving.

While we were waiting, we sat at the dining table, and I made two bracelets for her, and one for Donna 2. 

Mom was fascinated with stringing the beads, and counting them, and asking if there is a longer or shorter word, how do I account for the difference (news flash: I use more or less beads!). She was tickled pink when I finished this one. 

 I've got more to make, but Jess showed up at 9:30. There was a big hi to grandma and short chat amongst the fam. Grandma went to bed, just checked out, said bye. Fantastic. There were two options for Jess, one was go home another 90 minutes north or... see if the hotel had a room. 

They were super tired and opted for hotel, so we went over to the hotel. I was relieved for that, because it meant we could see each other this morning. Because I have Linda staying at the hotel tonight and tomorrow, when we checked Jess in I just said - let's make a note of it that we put Linda here for the next 2 nights and we don't need housekeeping or anything.

Thankfully, the hotel knows us now. I mean, I've had 30 hotel reservations this year (which seems bananas to me) and most of them have been one or two rooms at a time with this particular little hotel. So they're always super kind to us. And I appreciate that immensely. 

We sat in the lobby, chatting, and watching more sportsballs. The Eagles did some fun fancy plays and the last half hour of the game was smashing. 

A wedding had basically just finished up in the events center, the DJ was packing up the truck, and the bride was running around in this adorable short sundress thing that could have been an undergarment to her dress (no judgement!) giving out cupcakes from this absolutely gianormous box. 

Jess took two and immediately ate them (we were talking about going to Wendy's to grab a little something but cupcakes appeared out of nowhere). I took two to bring home to grandma, the sugar fiend.

Around midnight, I slunk back into the house and headed to bed, but was unable to sleep. 

It's kind of funny, but being the kid in my mom's house with my kid down the street in a hotel made me laugh. 

What a weird life we're living, eh? 

This morning, Jess and I discussed lunch. We met up at a little restaurant near the hotel and had a great time. There was hardly anyone in there, 3 people at the bar. Suddenly we heard explosions and horns and music - they were CRANKING a happy birthday song for this guy. A cake came out, the kitchen came out, Jess and I went to look at him and cheer.  They put a hat with light up candles on him, the 2 women he was with were laughing their asses off. 

I kind of wish I took a picture. This was next level hilarious. 

But I did take this picture. I was telling my friend from work that I love this human, spending time with this human. It was a great time. Note: I did not have a blue drink. Semi-regretting it but I wanted to get back to work in my right mind. Jess, however... Ever their dad's kid.

I got back from lunch with Jess to find my mom victorious. She'd lost a set of keys and gone bananas looking for it over the past couple days. Well she found the keys, they were in her jacket. Of course they were. 

After repeatedly insisting I accidentally dropped them in the trash (Like I would) she found them in her fleece pocket AND she found the remote to my dad's TV under the bed when no one else had been able to find it. Okay then. 

Earlier in the day I'd been frustrated with her not being able to find these keys, and I said 

Linda was en route this evening, and got a ferry from Long Island to the northlands. She arrived after 7, came straight here to say hi to mom. 

Jess, Linda and I went to "The 9s" which is the 99 restaurant's new-ish marketing campaign. I kind of wanted country fried chicken, but I kept to the lower carb thing of buffalo chicken. 

I had run to the market earlier to get wine for Linda, and strawberry preserves for mom. All told, I feel like I did a lot of work for work and work for mom today, and it is time to crash. 

Here's linz and jess at dinner tonight. Looking forward to tomorrow. My bean and my bean. oh my heart.

digits

exercise:  12/12 hours of 250 steps.  No real dedicated 10 today but I did walk around walmart forever.

blood glucose:

8:45am: 154
xpm: n/a forgot to do a reading before running errands 
10:45pm: 204

food:

coffee, water 
10:45am: 2 good yogurt; metformin
2pm: Tom Yum Goong soup (shrimp, mussels, scallops, etc, spicy!); 3 "golden bags" aka crab rangoon, crispy duck over greens, 4 gyoza. All off the appetizer menu so while that sounds like a lot, it really wasn't. 
4pm: the rest of my soup that I brought home
8pm: buffalo fingers and bleu cheese at the 99. White wine. 
10pm: metformin+jardiance
10:45pm: 2 cupcakes (no one else was eating them)

Missing Puzzle Pieces

We ran errands today. First, to Walgreens for a prescription pick up and she asked about a covid booster. They brought her right in, no waiting. Boom. Mehopes she does not have a bad reaction. 

She pushed her own cart. She lifted her own things into the basket. She loaded her stuff into the car, opening and closing the hatchback. She told me it would probably be easier to put things on the back seat and I told her this was a fair thought but it was nice to see her doing this all on her own. 

And I know where I get it from. Mom walked her cart all the way back into the building instead of leaving it on the sidewalk like 3 other people did. And she was quick to point out how shitty that is because the cashier has to run out and get the carts, they don't have a cart kid.  

We went to Shaws but the lines to check out were super long. All we needed was applesauce and spaghetti sauce, so, we left.  I'll go back another time. 

Then, it was time to visit to Auntie Bea. My mom's sister. The fact she actually asked to go visit earlier this week blew my mind. 

We got there at lunch time, so they set us up at a table in the recreation area, and boy was she surprised when she came around the corner. She recognized me immediately and then saw my mom and said "Of COURSE you'd be here too!"

This is a new facility, and she's been there since like April or May. It still smells like new construction. Her room is like a suite, 2 bedrooms (one for her, one for a roommate) and a little living room and bathroom. Her bedroom has a beautiful view of the dumpster, and a lovely river. 

She complained that she was freezing, and said over and over "I'm just so damn tired." 

After she ate a little of her lunch (she didn't like it but she really liked the cranberry juice) we went down to her room. In the little living room area there was a puzzle on the table. We talked about the puzzle. I asked if they wanted to work the puzzle, I could move the chair over to the table. They both said no. 

Then my mom reached over and put a piece in place. Bev pointed to another piece and said she thought it belonged with the other pink flowers. Next thing you know, the puzzle is done and there are two pieces missing. I thought Jeesh, that's kind of mean in a memory care facility to have a puzzle with pieces missing. 

I'm inclined to go buy more 50 piece puzzles, with all the pieces. Bev asked me why on earth there would be a puzzle here that didn't have all its pieces. I said I thought maybe it was donated and the people didn't realize the pieces were missing. She said "well that's crummy." Yeah. That's crummy. 

After a while she looked like she might fall asleep. So we encouraged her to her bed. I think she didn't want to go take a nap because we were visiting and it would be rude. 

On our way out at one of the dining tables there was a white haired old lady in a bright light blue cardigan that was perfectly suited for her coloring. Her left eye looked like she took a good square punch or she wiped out somehow. I didn't ask. 

She said hi to me, my mom was down the corridor on the way to the exit with the staff person who would be letting us out. 

I said hi back, and asked "How are you doing today?" Which occurs to me after I say it maybe is a loaded question for someone in a memory care facility. 

Her answer came with a shrug, "You know, I'm doing the best I can." I told her me too, and I was happy to hear that she was. She reached out to hold my hand and asked me how I was doing. Part of me wanted to say, "Lady,  I just told you basically, me too, I'm doing the best I can." But instead I answered "I'm doing well and so happy to see you today." 

Her smile was infectious, and just pure sweetness and kindness. 

I ended up positioned behind her a little because I was aiming for walking down the hall where my mom and the unit staffer were, but I leaned over and hugged her. I told her to have a great day, I'd see her later. She hugged my arms and thanked me for visiting her. 

Walking down the hall she called out, "I love you!" I called back "Oh, you know I love you too!" 

We got in the car and my mom said "That was a really good visit. I bet she'll be asleep in no time."

"She's probably asleep already, I think."

I kept thinking about the other lady. She probably doesn't remember me, but I am going to remember her.

Here's the sisters working the puzzle. Auntie Bea was cold so I got her a fleecey fleece blankie from her room and she was so happy. This puzzle had pieces that had seen better days, they kept curling up and wouldn't lay flat. Very surprised my mom didn't unleash a torrent of swears at them. And the last one. Hilarious. Mom shaking her fist like someone's gonna get a big fat knuckle sandwich because two pieces are missing, goddamnit! Digits below!

digits

exercise:  11/12 hours of 250 steps.  Missed 6pm cause I was cleaning up something I dropped. Dedicated 10+5

blood glucose:

10am: 214
5:30pm: 194
11pm: 165

food:

coffee, water
10:30am: protein shake; some slices of turkey to finish the container
1:30pm: Metformin
3:30pm: buffalo chicken strips+small side salad; 3 beers
6pm: Metformin+jardiance
8pm: some chili mac: donna made chili w/ground beef, sausage, and beans. I put it on top of some of the left over pasta & sauce from the other night. Not a lot, just to have some dinner.

A Rainy New Bedford Lunch Trip

Ya know, yesterday I should have taken that walk. It is absolutely pouring here. The weather forecast showed we would not be getting a break until late evening. And they didn't lie. 

Today, mom changed her mind about going out because of the rain. Fair. Totally fair. So instead, I went and had lunch with my friend Alex. We met in New Bedford at Cisco Brewing. 

Alex suggested it because he knows I do love craft beers, as he does too. It was a good place in between him and me. (Note to Linda: They have a full bar). 

The weather was absolutely unfriendly, so we ate inside. You can see the impact of the wind on my hair in picture 3. 

I was getting ready to take a picture of the beers in shot 2 (a pumpkin taster and Wandering Haze) when Alex came in and photo bombed. We sat for hours talking. There was a musician playing in the bar and he was good. Lots of folk standards like James Taylor and Jim Croce but a ripping Taylor Swift cover and some Elvis. It was delightful to crowd watch. 

Alex and I talked about everything from Guster, to Counting Crows, to Ari Shapiro, to mom. And then she called me because I was gone so long that she was worried. Oy. Mom I am having fun with my Alex! I told her I was in no rush to leave, and I'd be home soon. 

Alex thought it was sweet of her to check on me, and me to say "oh thank you for checking up on me!" 

We enjoyed our time together, and I'm so thankful to have a friend who wants to meet for lunch and talk about stuff and junk and things. On the way home, I took the backroads and not the highway. Stopped for some lemon loaf at Shaws (the stuff from Walmart is not to her liking), milk (get the see through bottle and not the solid white bottle so I can see how much is left), peanut butter cookies (oh! What a treat!). 

She headed off to bed around 8. As usual. 

Saw this image on FB today and while I have some friends who do NOT find this funny (Seasonal Affective Disorder/etc) I kind of thought it was amusing. The faces on the sun and cloud kind of did it for me. 

Digits below. Not making good food choices today like skipping breakfast, and having beers. Will do better tomorrow! 

digits

exercise:  10/12 hours of 250 steps.  Missed 2 and 3pm whilst sitting chatting with Alex.

blood glucose:

10am: 189
n/a pm: n/a - did not take a reading after getting home at 6:30pm. 
10pm: 214

food:

coffee, water
11am: Metformin
2pm: brisket quesadilla, fried scallops (not as good as mom's local!) coleslaw, a couple fries, 3 beers
7:30pm: turkey+hummus on keto bread; metformin+jardiance
10pm: protein shake

Doctor's Visit

Yesterday I went for a walk and talked to C and had a lovely good long walk (good, long walk for me, 20 min). When I got back my mom was putting on her shoes. 

Me: "Where you going?"
Her: "Out to look for you."
Me: "Why? I just went for a walk. I try to go for a walk every day. You know that."
Her: "You didn't leave a note, or anything."
Me: "Well you were fast asleep and I didn't want to wake you up to just say I was going for a walk. See, I came back. I always come back." 

She wants me to leave notes. Problem is, she won't see them anywhere. She will just get up, walk to the bathroom, notice I'm not here on the bed, and then put her shoes on to go drive around America until what, she won't find me, I'll be back, and then I'll be freaking out cause she left to drive the car and I don't think she's fully ready.

The other day I told her I was going to run some errands (read: buy more wine). I started to back out of the drive and a neighbor came to knock on the back of the car. She wanted to know where I was going. I told you. Errands. Walgreens. Wine. Walmart. Heroin. Everything I need. I told you.

"No you didn't. Be careful. There's a pothole on Tobey Road where it meets Main Street so don't go that way. Drive down...."

Editor's note: The pothole has been fixed. You haven't gone anywhere for three weeks. Thanks for the warning. I still went that way.

She once got in the car and drove around town looking for my sister's car because we took dad out to a bar that she isn't fond of. She thinks the waitresses dress slutty. We were having a great time with dad, feeding the internet jukebox, singing, and making the guys at the other end of the bar cheer when some things came on. "Did you pick this? Fuck yes! I love this song!"

Mom thought we were gone too long so she came looking for us. 

A woman pulled out of a parking lot in a car that looked like Linda's and it had NY Plates. So she followed this woman around until she got on the highway to leave the area. I'm thinking oh my gosh, lady. What are you doing?! 

We may have laughed at her. She was displeased. 

Anyway. Good day today. We went to JC Penney so she could pay her bill in person. She has a life insurance policy through them (I have no idea why but I guess that's what people did back in the day, buy life insurance through retail outfits) and pays the bill in person instead of online or a check in the mail. We had to wait on line but she didn't complain. She did have a hard time getting her check and bill/stub out of her pocket, and started with the Jesus Christ, what the fuck! What the fuck, COME ON! nonsense. Thankfully she got it out of her pocket before we had to get to the counter. The lady behind us was laughing. My face must have been amusing. 

Then, off to the Doctor. Everything is on track. She's gaining weight (I honestly thought she would have been up just another pound or two but ... 'saul good.), The doctor is super pleased with everything, said he does not care if she eats only PBJ sandwiches 6 times a day forever. Just eat. He asked what I'd been cooking for her and told me he's coming over for dinner. 

I thought he was ordering bloodwork but we went to the lab and there was no order, so I'll call Monday to make sure she can get some done. She said it has "been years" since she's had bloodwork done. So. Let's get some bloodwork, shall we?

She complained about her feet, some neuropathy there, and her big toenail on the left clodhopper is kind of funky. He wants her to see a podiatrist for the big toe. He agreed the nail is nasty. He also said to put Vick's VapoRub on it. Believe it or not, that heals toe fungus better than anything you can get on a TV Commercial. Okay then, doc. Will do. 

Oh, and the best part is, the podiatrist is in .... NEW BEDFORD! 

When he told her this, I gasped and she made quite the face. She didn't yell or scream, or say "Jesus Fucking Christ, not NEW BEDFORD!" Thankfully. She said she simply wouldn't go there. I sat and smirked, the doctor seemed surprised and looked directly at me, "Well, this is the best podiatrist in the area, and I love New Bedford. What'd New Bedford every do to you?" Oh no. No don't. Don't go there.

"Please don't ask," I said, "There is no real reason for her hatred of New Bedford." 

I assured her we'd make an appointment where one of us (me or Lin) would be here and would take her. The "I'm not driving to New Bedford" fight is squashed immediately when you say "you won't be driving to New Bedford because you'll be driven to New Bedford." 

I told the doctor I would make the call, and he gave me the number. 

He also commended my sister for the pedicure she gave mom. He smiled and said "that must have been an experience." I nodded and smiled. Oh yes. 

Linz will appreciate that and would tell you, oh yes. Yes it was. 

Took mom to her foodrinkery and her friend Donna met us there. I had time to eat a chicken sandwich and jet back to the computer for a meeting. Wanted to go for a walk but got a couple phone calls and opted to sit here in the bedroom to take them. And then it started to pour out. So there goes that idea.

Proof of mom climbing the weight charts. Way to go Shirl! Eat a cheeseburger!

digits

exercise:  12/12 hours of 250 steps.  No dedicated 10.

blood glucose:

8:45am: 151
5:30pm: 204 
10pm: 224

food:

coffee, water
10am: 2 good yogurt
12:30pm: fried chicken sandwich with lettuce, tomato, cheese, mayo; french fries (a few, not a lot) 
1:15pm: Metformin
3pm: oatmeal chocolate chip cookie
5:45pm: mixed nuts
8pm: metformin+jardiance, leftover chicken soup with potatoes, carrots, and 2 large grands biscuits (see the glucose above at 10pm...)

Fun With Scam Calls

My mom's phone rings morning, noon, and night. She's changed her phone number and the calls stop for a little while but then they come again. Either her doctor's office/medical group/insurance company has been hacked, or Walgreens has, or something. 

Always foreign language dudes, always can't pronounce the our name, always with different spoofed phone numbers from all over the country. Always with bullshit lies about medicare supplement plans, special orthotics, solar panels, medic alert systems. 

Like no, please, stop. Dudes. No. 

My mom can't not answer the phone. Or she can't not at least LOOK to see who is calling. Madison, Wisconsin. Worcester, MA. Bangor, ME. Walgreens Pharmacy on the caller ID, but the number isn't her local number. Her Medical center - but not her doctor's office. 

We've tried to teach her to not answer. That if it is a real call, they will leave a message. 

But the ringing. She can't ignore the ringing. She picks the phone up and looks at it. "Who the hell is calling me from Billings Montana!"

No one, ma. No.One.Is.Calling.You. It is a scam. Ignore it. 

I sometimes wish her hearing was like my mother in law who says "oh I never hear the phone ring. I just look later to see what answering machine messages are there. 10 missed call, 1 legit message." 

A lot of times I just answer the phone. Hello. What do you want "Paul?" No. I am not on Medicare. You have a wrong number. Lose this number. Don't call again. 

Today though, there was a name on the caller ID. I won't put their name here, but, the call went like this: 

Me: "Oh hey girl! Hey [name on the caller ID]!!! I have not heard from you in so long what the fuck is up! Bitch where have you been!"

Them: "Hello?" it is a guy talking so. Yeah.

Me: "Who the hell are you, you ain't my friend [name on the caller ID] what the hell is this? You in her house? You calling me on her phone at her house, what the fuck is wrong with you!"

Them: "uhhhhh" 

Me: torrent of swearing and violent language about how I'm headed over to [name on Caller ID's] house to kick his ass. 

He finally hung up. 

The other day I posted on social media that there is a special place in hell for companies that do this. I'm not mad at the individuals who are just trying to make a living. I said to one guy "your English is so good, you could be a teacher, you could work in tech support. There are so many things you can do with your life. Why do you choose to do this?" 

I swear. Bastards. 

Anyway. 

Mom has a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to taking her. Tonight, I took myself for a pedicure instead of going out to dinner with a friend. Because I just wanted a pedicure. I do not regret the self care. 

digits

exercise:  12/12 hours of 250 steps.  dedicated 10 plus another 10 thanks to a phone chat with C!

blood glucose:

9am: 185
5:45pm: 164 
10:45pm: 169

food:

coffee, water
noon: metformin; turkey+hummus sandwich on keto bread
6pm: the rest of the chicken salad over a spinach, red onion, cucumber tomato salad with salad topping (contained dried cranberries; Metformin+Jardiance
7:30pm: 2 chocolate chip cookies

white wine

We could get better because we're not dead yet

Mom had a bit of a hissy fit tonight when PT called to schedule her for tomorrow. She had it in her head (and I never heard the PT say this) that she could refuse this appointment. 

I told her "uh, no. You take your PT why would you NOT take your PT?" 

So she was yelling and swearing, I took the phone and asked the PT "what time you comin' over, hon? ... Between 9:30 and 10:30? Lovely. See you then!" 

My mom was flipping out because she thinks she has an appointment somewhere at 10:45 tomorrow. No. You have a Doctor's visit scheduled for FRIDAY at 11:45am. Tomorrow is Thursday. Here's your calendar. Look. Thursday the 19th. Empty. Nothing. PT is coming. 

So she was angry and stomping around and yelling. I told her to stop it, and she flipped me off (nice). I told her to calm the hell down, go play her stupid game and come down with her water in 15 minutes for dinner. 

She didn't come down for dinner and so I went and got her, "I cooked you shells and meat sauce, come down and eat it before it gets cold." She stomped down the hall, I had her serve her own bowl (gotta be doing that shit), and she went to the table.

I took my bowl of chicken salad and went in the bedroom. I was in no mood to sit with her. We've been having such a nice time sitting together for dinners and tonight, not so much. She kept swearing and yelling, she was dropping shells and meat. 

Me: "Why don't you stab the shells and meat with the fork, or, get a spoon. Turn around and open the drawer and get yourself a spoon. That might help." 

She didn't want to do something that logical, so, she made a mess but she cleaned it up because so help me Jebus, if she had walked away and left a mess I would have gone down there and grabbed her curly ass head and dragged her down. 

I finished my chicken salad. I answered more helpdesk tickets. I talked to Geoff, he called while I was cooking dinner. 

Mom came down the hall to apologize to me. I thanked her for it. Wanted to say "you damn sure better be sorry," but I let it go. I told her to come sit on the bed. 

Her: "I'm just so tired. I am sick of all this."

Me: "Sick of what, therapists who come and take exceptionally good care of you? Me and Linda giving up time at our homes to be here with you and cook for you and help you? "

Her: "I know people are helping and I appreciate it, but I just want this to be over. And I don't want to do PT tomorrow."

Me: "There are only a couple ways this ends. Let's talk about them. First, you get strong, you get sturdy, you are able to thrive and survive. You're not exactly there. And you're kind of not working towards it hard enough. You can do better. Another thing that could happen is you go into a home, and I don't know that I want to see that for you, and I doubt you see that for yourself. So look at number 1. Aim for it. And finally, you could die and it would be over. But before that happens we're going to work on this with you to keep you going, healthy, well, but seriously, you have to be a participant in this."

I told her about Frank Turner's song "Not Dead Yet," [video below]. The lyrics are outstanding and pure. Watch this video. Then read the section I pull out below. 

So try and get better and don't ever accept less
Take a plain black marker and write this on your chest
Draw a line underneath all of this unhappiness
Come on now, let's fix this mess
We could get better
Because we're not dead yet
We could get better
Because we're not dead yet

Not sure I can take a plain black marker and write it on her chest. But this song made me think of her. Especially the opening lines about getting a shovel and digging a ditch to fight for this four foot square bit of land like "a mean old son of a bitch."

Doug and I chatted about the exit strategy, which there was none. I told him I thought he said on Friday that he and Geoff were going to come get me. He said he didn't remember saying that, but Geoff might want to come get me. I said that's not the best plan, having him take his first ever trip through the horrors of northern NJ alone. Jess had a co pilot and left at 1am. On purpose. 

Nah. Not a good idea for Geoff to try this on right now.

So I decided I should just fly. Doug agreed. I started shopping.

Chatted with Linda, and her plan was to come here Sunday. Looking at flights though, Providence on Southwest had nothing available and everything else is expensive. In fact, everything was booked. Everything. Unless I flew the super duper fancy extra expensive Southwest flight. No. 

Wednesday had openings. A week from today. Alright, okay. Not bad. This is good. We can do this. Affordable! Linda would not have to come up until Tuesday/night so she'd get more time at home. 

I bought the ticket for the last flight out on Wednesday which still gets me home at a super decent hour. And yeah. Done. 

We're not dead yet. 

No picture tonight, I'm just tired. 

digits

exercise:  12/12 hours of 250 steps.  Did not do a dedicated 10 because of someone's tantrum.

blood glucose:

9am: 195
4:45pm: 180 
9:45pm: 170

food:

coffee, water
11:15am: 2 good berry yogurt, metformin
1:45pm: turkey + hummus on keto bread
5pm: chicken salad, no nuts, no grapes (made it for mom too); some ground beef in sauce but no pasta
6pm: Metformin+jardiance

no beer, no wine. too lazy to go out to get.

Cousin dinner

Tonight my cousin came to kidnap me and we went out to a really fun dinner, talked for hours.  Let's just say I'm thankful for family and for their experiences, shared and otherwise, and for laughter. 

Here's a picture we took tonight, in the dark, with some blow-up Mexi-style Halloween decorations. My teeth are weird and glowy. 

Not much else to report. 

Oh, and my mom did poop today so. Yay for carrots and corn and applesauce! Victory! 

digits

exercise:  11/12 hours of 250 steps. Dedicated 10 walk, missed 7pm by a couple steps out to dinner with my cousin

blood glucose:

xam: forgot to take my reading before coffee so I knew it would be not good.
4:30pm: 201 
10pm: 241

food:

coffee, water
11:30am: pbj on keto bread; metformin
1:30: 2 chocolate chip cookies + coffee for dipping; protein shake
7pm: shrimp quesadilla, 2 beers
8pm: metformin+jardiance
8:30pm: bowl of peanuts

Milk

I needed to go get milk, and mom was almost out of her (very specific) bread. I also wanted to do a simple rotisserie chicken and sides for dinner for us tonight (way too many carbs for me but, so delicious). 

Picking up the car keys, I let her know where I was going and what I was getting. The following conversation went pretty much like this.

Her: "You're going to Shaws? to get MILK?" 
Me: "Yes. I always get milk at the grocery store."
Her: "I get milk at Cumberland Farms."
Me: "That's cool, but I'm not going that direction."
Her: "The milk from Cumberland Farms never goes sour."
Me: "The milk at cumbies and Shaws is the same milk. In fact, the milk guy probably drops milk off at cumbies and drives to Shaws, and takes the same milk out of the truck at both locations. It is the same milk."
Her: "No, the milk from Cumberland Farms is better."
Me: "Of course it is." 

Little does she realize, that the last 2 half gallons we've had, well, they were from Walmart. And she hates Walmart. 

My mom is very brand loyal and driven by what she thinks, or actually what she feels, about specific brands. On top of that, she's got ideas about where buying something is better. For instance she needed more coffee beans. She buys coffee beans from Dunkin' Donuts. At the Dunkin' Donuts location. You can get the same thing at Walmart and it is less per pound than buying from the Dunkies. She noticed the packaging was different. 

Her: "Why is the label like this on these two pounds?"
Me: "I don't know. Companies change their branding periodically."
Her: "It doesn't look like this when I buy it at Dunkin' Donuts. You didn't buy this at Dunkin' Donuts, did you?"
Me: "Well played, Shirley Sherlock." 

She wanted to know why I didn't go (out of my way) to Dunkin' Donuts and I told her I don't like the parking lot, and I don't like trying to get out of there and people whip into the lot and I just don't feel safe there. 

I got you coffee beans. 

You got coffee beans, please know, it's the same product different store. 

She gets mouthy, and I get exasperated. 

I threatened to just start shopping at Aldi. For as much as she hates Walmart, boy does she hate Aldi. I have no idea what they ever did to her. 

We had a nice dinner. I wanted to get some carrots and some corn into her to see if it would help with her inability to poop lately. She also hasn't had any cheese on purpose, so she can avoid using the Lactaid. She thinks that is what's constipating her. I'm not sure it is related. 

Her: "I used to poop every damn day the way I was eating and then you and your sister come here and make me eat three meals a day and for chrissakes, I can't poop!"
Me: "Are you in pain?"
Her: "No."

Okay then. 

The occupational therapist was here today and said that 5 days is kind of the limit before you get ahold of the doctor. I called their office today, the receptionist said a nurse would call me before the end of the day. 

Made the mistake of telling my mom this and every half hour, "did they call yet? I haven't heard the phone ring." 

"They may be busy, mom. If we don't hear back, I will call in the morning." 

I'll be calling in the morning. While I put milk from Shaws in my coffee. 

Baked a couple dozen cookies today, that was pretty fun. Picture below, Digits below that.

digits

exercise:  12/12 hours of 250 steps. lots and lots of time wandering Shaws. dedicated 10 min. walk at 10pm because the sugar results were stupid high.

blood glucose:

9am: 156
5pm: 167 
10pm: 299 (yikes but. yeah) 

food:

coffee, water
10am: jardiance (*)
11am: leftover salad and tuna fish
noon: metformin
3pm: protein shake
4pm: a couple chocolate chip cookies
7:30pm: chicken dinner w/ stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn (no carrots) a pillsbury grand biscuit,  gravy
2 beers
10:15: protein shake

(*) I've been taking Jardiance at night with metformin. I keep hearing this commercial with a lady enthusiastically singing "I take once daily Jardiance at each day's start!" 

My bottle just says to take once daily. No mention of morning, noon, night, with or without metformin. So I am moving it to morning. I've never been sure of when to take it. Maybe you're supposed to take it with the metformin, and maybe I should move that to lunch time. So I'm experimenting. My doctor's office was not clear on guidance.

After my evening glucose levels, methinks I go back to dinner time Metformin+Jardiance!

Bracelets Bespoke

Some days you feel the atmospheric pressure is low, and your head hurts as a result. 

I got up around 7:45 and noticed mom hadn't started the coffee, which was odd, so I did. I walked down the hall to her, she was playing her game. Asked her if she'd taken her pills (knowing she didn't because they were in my hand).

"Oh! I lost track of time," she stood up. "I'll make the coffee!"

"No need, I hit the button we're good to go in about 15 minutes. Just in time for you to sit with this pills on an empty stomach thing. I'll bring you something and a cuppa, so you can keep playing your game."

She was pleased with that. She's supposed to be eating at the dining table but I kind of feel if she's not eating whilst in repose on her bed, it's a good thing. 

Last slice of banana bread in hand, and a cuppa, she was happy. I was happy.

And I just went back to bed after taking some tylenol because I had a headache.  

I woke up just in time to do my 10am steps, did the 11 right after, turned the coffee pot back on because it went to sleep, took my blood sugar. She came down the hall to the bathroom and I was flopped back in bed playing with my phone. She told me she was going to take a rest, put her coffee cup and plate in the sink. 

It just felt like it was a good day to take a rest. I eventually got up and made myself a great omelet. I played on my phone. I read. I got up to do my steps each hour and went through the mail I had already opened to see what needed a call, what could be paid online, and what would need a mailed check. 

She has an orthopaedic bill that she has no idea what it is for. It's 3 months overdue and these jerks don't have an online payment portal so she wants [me] to call tomorrow and ask when the services were rendered. The mailing/office is in Plymouth and she said she has never been to a doctor in Plymouth. Okay will do.

I realized then that she should probably have lunch so she may be hungry by the time it is dinner. This time I asked her if she wanted to make her own PBJ and she said that I could, but she'd come down to eat at the table. 

We have very nice chats when we sit together at the table. We talked about the friendship bracelets I've got on, and I told her all about why I have them and asked if she knows who Taylor Swift is. I told her the inspiration for Guster themed bracelets came from TS and showed her the picture of the 200+ bracelets I made. 

I told her I would make her one that says SWIRL which is a nickname my High School Bestie gave her. She laughed and said "make me one that says TROUBLE too! That's what everyone says when I come in places. "Here Comes Trouble!""

Girl is awful proud of that. I kind of never want someone to think that of me, even in jest but. Okay. Yeah, you got it. Coming right up. SWIRL and TROUBLE.

I cleaned up from lunch, flopped back on the bed. C called me and we talked for a good 90 minutes. She's closing up camp as it is the end of season. Heartbreaking. Looking forward to April when she can throw open the windows and welcome people back to porch life. 

I recalled that I was going to make a bracelet for her too, so now my brain is focused on bracelets. Bracelets, bracelets, bracelets!

There is not enough light to do it in the bedroom so I'll set up at the dining table. Tonight, I'm whipping up Tuna Salad. I asked if she wanted a tuna melt and she said no - just the sandwich with mayo. For me, I've got to use up some of that spinach, cherry tomatoes, and a cucumber so I'll make a salad. She said "yuk!" and I said "YUM!"

Trying to come up with food ideas that she can handle prepping for herself. I thought of Rotisserie Chicken w/stove top and microwave mashed taters. She said she'd eat some corn (yay! A Veggie!) so tomorrow I'm going to go over the market to pick up a few things and then set her to work to see how she does. 

A big issue I see is her doing is dishes. That's not going to happen, I betcha. So how can we get her to eat more than PBJ off paper plates, and make good meals for herself. 

We're working on it. 

Tonight I made 2 giant cans of tuna (I had a salad w/tuna on it and she had a sandwich). I put a ton of tuna on her sandwich and she was a little surprised at how much it was. I wanted her to get a good belly full. 

She ... has not pooped since Thursday.  So I asked her to have an apple sauce in addition to the sandwich to see if that would be good and helpful. 

She is starting to get anxious. I am too. I mean, for someone who always pooped all the time to not poop for days is kind of curious and maybe a touch alarming. So I may call the doctor tomorrow. The OT comes at 8:30am tomorrow, so I'll be up early and ready myself before mom gets her shower. I'll ask her advice. 

And maybe that corn with the rotisserie chicken will be great.

I realize I took no pictures today. So here's mom making a PBJ for herself on Saturday. Notoriously missing: her screaming JESUS CHRIST! WHAT THE FUCK! when the strawberry preserves are not cooperating. Just imagine it. 

Digits below:

digits

exercise:  11/12 hours of 250 steps. Missed 9am. Dedicated 10+2 around the loop.

blood glucose:

11am: 177
5:15pm: 132 
10:45pm: 168 

food:

coffee, water
11:30am: 2 egg omelet w/ wilted spinach, onion, mushroom
1pm: pbj sandwich, sugar free strawberry jam, keto bread
Jardiance+metformin
6:30pm: tuna salad w/mayo and onions over a regular salad of spinach, red onion, cucumber, cherry tomatoes, mix of salad topping nuts (everything was great but I could have done without the cranberries)
white wine
Metformin
10:30pm: a lot of cookie dough