I had a long list of things to do and I did not get to all of them. The big one I wanted to accomplish was to set up some Christmas shit, I mean, decorations. Decorations.
Mom said she didn't want to do it. She wasn't interested. It wasn't worth it. So much hassle. "That was always your dad's thing, decorating and celebrating," she said with a shrug. Whereas I always remember she was the holiday decorator, the boss, the person to get it all done.
Because the first big holidays without the person you've been with for .... 58 years, may be hard, I wanted there to be a little something something. And I didn't want her to feel depressed with all this. Looking around the neighborhood, there is a lot of festivity out there in the form of lights on bushes, running lights on the trailers, windows decorated. She notices all the work other people are putting into their festooning.
She's come a long way in the past several weeks. I want to keep her momentum going. I don't want her to slip into big sad.
All the christmas stuff is tucked into a kitchen closet. I moved the portable dishwasher (which someone was supposed to come take away, weeks and weeks ago. I offered to do it with a friend of mine who lives here in town, and she said no, he'd be there "soon." Lies, damned lies). I moved the cabinet the microwave sits on. I pulled all the shit out of the closet. And boy, does she have a lot of shit.
There are two big rubbermaid containers full of things, an artifical tree about 4ft tall, some other things... She has candlestick lights for the windows and I put 2 in the front and one in each window in the kitchen. She has a handmade ceramic Christmas tree my grandmother made. Her initials are on the bottom and "75" but I could swear this is so much older than that! She told me itt needed a new lightbulb, and the star needed to be glued back on. I was psyched to make that so.
My dad used to always take the star off every year and she would get so upset. No. Don't remove it. Don't. Well. Now you can't. I got some gorilla glue, and that star is not moving.
I procured a new bulb for inside the tree, which she said was the wrong kind of bulb. I said no, it's fine. It fits in the socket. She said it had to be shaped like a flame (btw - it is). I asked why. It's INSIDE the tree. It could be round, square, penis shaped, who cares. No one is going to see it. She got a little testy and walked away, while I got the tree newly reunited with its star set up on top of the light and the base. I fired it up and it was lovely.
I asked her to come look and she seemed pleased. I started hanging some things around and she was correcting me where things go. She was getting into it. Telling me where things go and don't go. It felt good to have her be a pain in the ass.
For someone who didn't want any decorations put up, she sure had opinions about where things go.
It isn't a lot, but it is just a little something, and it brightens my heart, too.
Hard to believe I'm leaving tomorrow, with a list of undone things, but hey. I got a little bit of this done and that's alright, I guess.
Digits below.
digits
exercise: 12/12 hours of 250 steps. not really a dedicated 10 but I had fun walking around Lowes. 8100+ steps by publish time.
blood glucose:
8:30am: 174
5pm: 159
11:45pm: 216
food:
coffee, water
9am: one dunkin donuts lemon donut
1pm: Metformin
2pm: buffalo fingers, 2 beers (goodbye lunch w/mom)
6pm: slice of chocolate chip banana bread
7:30: Metformin+Jardiance
beers at Lucky Goat
9:45pm: english muffin w/pbj; 2 beers
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